Over the years, I've received a lot of advice from friends and family, trained professionals and books on how to get along with others and build strong relationships. Most of it is insightful（有见地的） and effective but when I'm caught up in the moment, I find it hard to apply what I've learned. This is especially true when it involves a multi-step process.

After analyzing many methods and experimenting in my own interactions（交流）, I've found one simple guideline that has helped me strengthen every one of my interpersonal relationships. This simple easy-to-remember tip is: Make the other person feel important.

No one likes to feel small and most conflicts（冲突）occur when you make others feel unimportant whether you plan to or not. The key to getting along with almost anyone is to avoid actions that diminish others and replace them with actions that build up others. Actually,you can strengthen your relationships with many actions.

When you interact with someone, give him your undivided attention. Don't look around to see what else is going on or check your phone or watch. Take time to listen and respond  accordingly to show  you're engaged. Make the other person feel like he is the most important person you’re meeting with.

Nothing will make someone light up more brightly than showing genuine interest in him. Be curious and ask specific questions based on what you hear. The more questions you ask, the better the interaction will go but keep in mind that you must be sincere. If you try to fake it, people can tell.

When it is possible,show that you consider the other person remarkable. Find opportunities to speak highly of this person to others as often as you honestly can. One trap to avoid is making others feel  more important by putting yourself down. This is never helpful so it's important that you lift others up in a way that respects everyone including you.

   I was never very neat, while my roommate Kate was extremely organized. Each of her objects had its place, but mine always hid somewhere. She even labeled (贴标签) everything. I always looked for everything. Over time, Kate got neater and I got messier. She would push my dirty clothing over, and I would lay my books on her tidy desk. We both got tired of each other.

War broke out one evening. Kate came into the room. Soon, I heard her screaming, “Take your shoes away! Why under my bed!” Deafened, I saw my shoes flying at me. I jumped to my feet and started yelling. She yelled back louder.

The room was filled with anger. We could not have stayed together for a single minute but for a phone call. Kate answered it. From her end of the conversation, I could tell right away her grandma was seriously ill. When she hung up, she quickly crawled under her covers, sobbing. Obviously, that was something she should not go through phone. All of a sudden, a warm feeling of sympathy rose up in my heart.

Slowly, I collected the pencils, took back the books, made my bed, cleaned the socks and swept the floor, even on her side. I got so into my work that I even didn't notice Kate had sat up. She was watching, her tears dried and her expression one of disbelief. Then, she reached out her hands to grasp mine. I looked up into her eyes. She smiled at me, “Thanks.”

Kate and I stayed roommates for the rest of the year. We didn't always agree, but we learned the key to living together: giving in, cleaning up and holding on.

   Life can be a lonely thing without friends. Acquaintances（熟人）are easy to come by but true friends are a whole other story. 【小题1】 Learn these four steps if you'd like to be a true friend that can be relied on.

●Be present for their highs and lows.

If you're absent during my struggle，don't expect to be present during my success.

—Will Smith

It's easy to be there for our friends when they ask us out for fun things. 【小题2】 You might not feel comfortable while spending time with an emotionally weak person on the verge of tears，but true friends are always there when they're needed the most.

●【小题3】

When people talk，listen completely. Most people never listen.

—Ernest Hemingway

Give your friends the gift of silence so they can drop their baggage and get on with living.

●Accept them as they are.

Happiness can exist only in acceptance.  

—George Orwell

If you can't accept people as they are，you will never know the feeling of true friendship. 【小题4】

●Forgive the past.

Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.     

—Buddha

【小题5】 If so，you should understand that even the best of us suffer from the occasional slip of the tongue. Holding onto anger over a small mistake will make you look petty（小气的），so let it go.