What to Do when Someone Doesn’t Like You

When someone tells me, “I don’t care if people like me,” they are showing me the emotional wall they use to block the hurt of rejection.

As humans are social animals, all of us care if people like us. Based on the need for social connections, your reactions to rejection and negative judgment can range from minor hurt to breakouts of depression. 【小题1】

The first step to handle a negative situation is to recognize your reaction. Ask yourself, “What am I feeling?”. 【小题2】 Any betrayal (背叛) or embarrassment in your heart? Identify what feeling has shown up in your body, so you can choose what to do next.

【小题3】 When you sense yourself being shut out or feel defensive, ask yourself what the person actually means to do to you. Does he truly mean to offend you, or make fun of you? Your brain works very hard to keep you safe, so it will judge a situation threatening if there is any possibility of social harm.

When our brains sense a possible threat, we react as if we were personally attacked. Take a breath to relieve (减轻) the stress. 【小题4】

Finally, if you believe the person doesn’t like you, ask yourself if this matters. 【小题5】 If not, what can you do to release your need to be liked by this person? And, what can you do to stay neutral and not return the dislike? The more you can come to accept others as who they are, the more you can move forward with your goals regardless of whether someone likes you or not.

   More than 40 million Americans move each year, but not always by choice. Whether you’re moving because of work or schooling or for better chances, adjusting (适应) to the life in a new place can be difficult. 【小题1】 Here are some tips to help you adjust to your new home.

Treat it as an adventure.

【小题2】 So stay positive, get out there and explore! Taste the local food and visit famous places and museums. Try local activities that aren’t popular in your former city, such as skating if you come from a beach town or surfing if you lived in the mountains. You may discover a talent or interest you never knew you had.

Get involved (参与) with your neighbors.

Introduce yourself to neighbors and everyone else you meet. 【小题3】 This is the best way to get advice about living in your area, and to make new friends. Attend local events that interest you, visit the markets or yard sales, take classes and so on. All of these things will help you meet more people and feel connected.

【小题4】.

It takes time to get to know a new place, so don’t expect to feel comfortable right away. 【小题5】 To help make the process easier you can meet new people, find a support group near you. A fresh move is also a fresh start. It is therefore a great time to start fulfilling a dream you’ve had, whether it is going back to school, starting a new career, or finishing a novel.

   One effective way of destroying happiness is to look at something and focus on even the smallest fault. It’s like looking at the tiled（铺瓦的）ceiling and concentrating on the space where one tile is_____ .

Once I heard a bald（秃头的）man said，“Whenever I enter a room，_____ I see is hair.”Once you’ve_____ what your missing tile is，explore whether getting it will_____ make you happy. Then do one of the three things：get it，replace it with a different_____ ，or forget about it and_____ the tiles in your life that are not missing.

We all know people who have had a relatively easy life，yet are essentially unhappy_____ people who have suffered a great deal_____  remain happy.

The first_____ is gratitude（感激）.All happy people are ______ .Ungrateful people cannot be happy. We tend to think that being unhappy leads people to______ ，but it’s truer to say that complaining leads to people becoming unhappy.

The second secret is______ that happiness is a by-product（副产品）of something else. The most obvious______ are the pursuit that gives our lives purpose-anything______ studying insects to playing baseball. The more passions we have，the more happiness we are likely to______ .

Finally，the belief that something lasting for a long time goes beyond us and that our______ has some larger meaning can help us to feel happier. We______ a spiritual faith， or a philosophy of life. Whatever your philosophy is， it should ______ this truth：If you choose to find the______ in every situation， you will be blessed；and if you choose to find the awful， you will be cursed. As with happiness itself， this is______ your decision to make.

Planning is good as it decides in details how we do what we want to do it. However, a plan bears no fruit without being actual carried out. My experience in the English speech contest last month was a case in point. A month before the event, I spent hours work out a schedule with my goals and practical steps. After that, I set out read widely for an inspired topic , wrote a speech, and practised my pronunciation with good public speech skills. I finally stood out as a first prize winner. I know why I achieved my success. It came from good planning but better practice.