So let’s say that you’re sitting at a restaurant and when your food arrives, you take one bite and decide that something is preventing you from taking a second bite. No matter what the reason is, this dish is going back to the kitchen, and now it’s up to you to find a way to send it back politely.

First of all, the single most important thing to do when you’re sending something back is to do it immediately. If you eat half the dish before sending it back, the server and kitchen will believe that you really don’t need to send it back.

If a dish is too salty that it cannot be eaten, you should first let the server know what the situation is, and they’ll take it back to the kitchen and bring you a new one. Remember that it is not the server’s fault, so don’t take it out on them. Also, don’t be afraid that they’ll get angry at you, or someone will spit (吐) in your food. It’s their job to make sure that you’re satisfied, and if the kitchen clearly makes a mistake the server will be frustrated with the kitchen, not with the diner who has been served an inedible meal. A new dish will be cooked, and nobody’s going to spit in it.

There is, however, one example when you are sending back a dish which will really annoy both the server and the kitchen. If you order a pasta dish that contains pancetta but then send it back to the kitchen because you’re a vegetarian (素食者) and don’t know what pancetta is, and then congratulations because you’re one of the most unbearable types of customers a restaurant can have. A perfectly good plate of food is just thrown out because you don’t ask what pancetta is before ordering.

So the bottom line: Use common sense if you think that you need to send your dish back. If the kitchen do something wrong, then they’re on the hook for a new plate of food. If you do something wrong, then hopefully you’ve learned a lesson.

How to Say Short-Term Goodbyes

Knowing when and how to say goodbye is often difficult, even in informal situations. But learning to say goodbye appropriately is a skill that will help you maintain（维持）your relationships. 【小题1】 Read on to learn how to recognize chances when you leave.

Recognize when to leave. When you’re at any kind of party or gathering, or even in a one-on-one conversation, it can be difficult to get away. Learning to recognize good chances to leave will make a short-term goodbye much easier. Notice if the crowd seems to be decreasing. 【小题2】

【小题3】 Overstaying your welcome is rude, but it can often be difficult to distinguish. People don’t like telling you that they’d like you to leave, so try to watch for signals. If the host of a party starts cleaning up, or withdraws from the conversation, gather your friends or belongings and make your exit.

Make plans to see each other again. Even saying “See you at school tomorrow” keeps the goodbye light and focused forward. If you haven’t already made plans, use it as a chance to make them. 【小题4】 Set up a coffee date or meeting for lunch later in the week if it makes the goodbye easier, but don’t promise anything you don’t want to do.

Tell the truth. It can be tempting to come up with a “good excuse” when you’re ready to leave. You don’t need to. 【小题5】 It doesn’t need to be any more complicated than that.

What to Do when Someone Doesn’t Like You

When someone tells me, “I don’t care if people like me,” they are showing me the emotional wall they use to block the hurt of rejection.

As humans are social animals, all of us care if people like us. Based on the need for social connections, your reactions to rejection and negative judgment can range from minor hurt to breakouts of depression. 【小题1】

The first step to handle a negative situation is to recognize your reaction. Ask yourself, “What am I feeling?”. 【小题2】 Any betrayal (背叛) or embarrassment in your heart? Identify what feeling has shown up in your body, so you can choose what to do next.

【小题3】 When you sense yourself being shut out or feel defensive, ask yourself what the person actually means to do to you. Does he truly mean to offend you, or make fun of you? Your brain works very hard to keep you safe, so it will judge a situation threatening if there is any possibility of social harm.

When our brains sense a possible threat, we react as if we were personally attacked. Take a breath to relieve (减轻) the stress. 【小题4】

Finally, if you believe the person doesn’t like you, ask yourself if this matters. 【小题5】 If not, what can you do to release your need to be liked by this person? And, what can you do to stay neutral and not return the dislike? The more you can come to accept others as who they are, the more you can move forward with your goals regardless of whether someone likes you or not.

—George Orwell