One effective way of destroying happiness is to look at something and focus on even the smallest fault. It’s like looking at the tiled（铺瓦的）ceiling and concentrating on the space where one tile is_____ .

Once I heard a bald（秃头的）man said，“Whenever I enter a room，_____ I see is hair.”Once you’ve_____ what your missing tile is，explore whether getting it will_____ make you happy. Then do one of the three things：get it，replace it with a different_____ ，or forget about it and_____ the tiles in your life that are not missing.

We all know people who have had a relatively easy life，yet are essentially unhappy_____ people who have suffered a great deal_____  remain happy.

The first_____ is gratitude（感激）.All happy people are ______ .Ungrateful people cannot be happy. We tend to think that being unhappy leads people to______ ，but it’s truer to say that complaining leads to people becoming unhappy.

The second secret is______ that happiness is a by-product（副产品）of something else. The most obvious______ are the pursuit that gives our lives purpose-anything______ studying insects to playing baseball. The more passions we have，the more happiness we are likely to______ .

Finally，the belief that something lasting for a long time goes beyond us and that our______ has some larger meaning can help us to feel happier. We______ a spiritual faith， or a philosophy of life. Whatever your philosophy is， it should ______ this truth：If you choose to find the______ in every situation， you will be blessed；and if you choose to find the awful， you will be cursed. As with happiness itself， this is______ your decision to make.

   Like most people these days，I can't imagine life without e-mail. But there's something about a letter，something more personal，more meaningful.

During my freshman year of college I was _____ . I loved to sing，and I was cast as the lead in the fresh play. The _____ didn't allow much time for studying，and then there were _____ to make and parties to go to. _____ my straight A average in high school，I didn't have good study habits. My first college report card _____ it. I sat on my dorm-room bed，staring at C's and D's.

I knew my parents had gotten a copy of my _____. My mother was an advocate for women's education. My dad ran his own business and was a leader of the community. They'd been so _____ I was following in their footsteps. I could have called home，but long-distance calls were expensive then. _____ ，telling my parents“I'm so sorry I've disappointed you”hardly seemed _____ .

I got two letters from the student union. My dad's letter was typed on his business paper. I could hear his voice，quiet，______ and kind.“I understand you are struggling. We have all been there. We all fail sometimes. We ______ ourselves and our family. ______ those who deserve to be at the top, when they fail, get right back up to the top again. And I know you will.”Dad wasn't ______ of me. He believed I could succeed. If only I had believed in myself as he did!

Then I opened the envelope from Mom. As I read, the miles between us disappeared and her words went straight to my _____ “I suspect you are ______ burdens. Perhaps you feel guilty about ______ that you are not proud of. This is the time when everything we' ve taught you — persistence, forgiveness and diligence — will ______ .”

I did, often. College got much better. My grades ______ . I joined a group that sang at dinners and concerts.

A letter can change the ______ . The message is simple and true: letters can touch our lives mysteriously and ______ .

   I was attending a party one night given in Sir Ross's honor. During the dinner, the man sitting next to me told a humorous story and spoke of the quotation:“There's a divinity（神）that shapes our ends, /Rough-hew them how we will. ”

The storyteller mentioned that the quotation was from the Bible. He was wrong. I knew that； I knew it positively. There couldn't be the slightest doubt about it. And so, to get a feeling of importance and show my high quality, I chose myself as an unwelcome person to correct him. He stuck to his guns. “What? From Shakespeare? Impossible! Absurd ! That quotation was from the Bible. ”

The storyteller was sitting at my right hand, and Frank Gammond, an old friend of mine, was seated at my left hand. Mr. Gammond had devoted years to the study of Shakespeare, so the storyteller and I agreed to leave the question to Mr. Gammond. Mr. Gammond listened, kicked me under the table, and then said ,“Dale, you are wrong. The gentleman is right. It is from the Bible. ”

On our way home that night, I said to Mr. Gammond,“Frank, you knew that quotation was from Shakespeare. ”

“Yes, of course,”he replied. “Hamlet, Act V, Scene 2. But we were guests on a festive occasion, my dear Dale. Why prove to a man he is wrong? Is that going to make him like you? Why not let him save his face? He didn't ask for your opinion. He didn't want it. Why argue with him?”The man who said that taught me a lesson I would never forget. I not only had made the storyteller uncomfortable, but had put my friend in an embarrassing situation. How much better it would have been if I hadn't become argumentative.

Nine times out of ten, an argument ends with each of the contestants（竞争者）more firmly convinced than ever that he is absolutely right. You can't win an argument. You can't because if you lose it, you lose it； and if you win it, you lose it.

   Mistakes are a part of life. To err is human. Failure is also a part of life, not the end of life. Be happy facing life’s challenges. When you make the effort to be happy and to improve your life, you are actually rewarded along the way.

Life is like a game and maybe you can award (奖励) points for every effort that has been a success for you. Try it. Add ten points for every achievement. And when you have reached 50 points, just yell, “ Hey, I’ve won!” and give yourself a reward. If you happen to have missed your points for whatever reason, tell yourself, “Well, I tried!” which is better than not trying at all. Don’t let it be said you didn’t try.

What is it that you want to make yourself happy? Actually happiness means different things to different people. For example, an athlete will be happy winning his first race. For a new mother happiness would be seeing her baby’s first steps. Happiness for a poor person would mean having a meal just for today. So happiness for you is really something simple that you want for yourself.

It really doesn’t have to be big. As a matter of fact you should always have realistic expectations. Make the best out of every given situation. If you expect a certain result from a situation and it does not happen, don’t get despondent. This just means trying harder next time. We all have in us the power to succeed. Don’t let “ give up ” be a part of your vocabulary.