Parents whose children show a special interest in a particular sport have a difficult decision to make about their children’s careers. Should they allow their children to train to become top sportsmen or sportswomen? For many children it means starting very young and school work, going out with friends and other interests have to take second place.

It’s very difficult to explain to a young child why he or she has to train for five hours a day, even at the weekend, when most of his or her friends are playing. Another problem is of course money. In many countries money for training is allocated from the government for the very best young sportsmen or sportswomen. If this help cannot be given, it means that it is the parents who have to find the time and the money to support their child’s development, and sports clothes, transport to competitions, special equipment, etc. can be very expensive.

Many parents are understandably worried that it is dangerous to start serious training in a sport at an early age. Doctors agree that young muscles may be damaged by training before they are properly developed. Professional trainers, however, believe that it is only by starting young that you can reach the top as a successful sportsperson. What is clear is that very few people do reach the top and both parents and children should be prepared for failure even after many years of training.

   A generation of parents raised according to the permissive principles of postwar childcare experts is rediscovering the importance of saying "No" to their children. They are beginning to reclaim the house as their own. Even spanking (打屁股) is back.

While today's parents do not want to return to the Victorian era (时代) — when children were seen, spanked, but not heard — there is a growing acknowledgement that the laissez-faire approach produced a generation of children running rings around puzzled parents struggling to restore order.

Janthea Brigden, a trainer with Parent Network, says: “The problem is that parents don't want all that controlling things. What they want is to be able to discipline (管教) their children through teaching and encouraging."

According to Steve Biddulph, the author of More Secrets of Happy Children, the permissive era was often just an excuse to ignore children. He believes discipline involves firm but friendly teaching and does not need to involve punishment. He teaches a method called "stand and think”, where a child is helped to figure out what is wrong and how to get it right. Mr. Biddulph understands parents using spanking, but lie is against it. "The happiest children are those who know Mum and Dad are in charge. As children grow into their teens, more negotiation can take place, such as: Prove you can be home safely by 1l pm, and we might let you stay out till midnight."

“There is no good evidence that an occasional, properly administered spanking is harmful in any way.”says John Rosemond, an American who has won a huge following by calling for "parent power". It is pure nonsense to believe that restricting children to their room as a punishment could make them have negative feelings about the room and cause sleep problems.

Mr. Rosemond tracks the overturning of traditional family values to the end of the Second World War. He blames the change of the American family into a child-centered, self-respect-oriented (以……为导向) unit on psychologists and social workers, who for 30 years have weakened traditional approaches. Previous generations of American parents raised children not by the book, but by self-evident truth, he says. Children should be seen and not heard. If you make your bed, you'll have to lie in it. He says that those phrases contain time-honored understanding and principles that helped children to develop what we refer to as the "three Rs" of parenting: respect, responsibility and resourcefulness.

   The jobs of the future have not yet been invented. 【小题1】 By helping them develop classic skills that will serve them well no matter what the future holds.

1. Curiosity

Your children need to be deeply curious. 【小题2】 Ask kids, “What ingredients (配料) can we add to make these pancakes even better next time?” and then try them out. Did those ingredients make the pancakes better? What could we try next time?

2. Creativity

True creativity is the ability to take something existing and create something new from it. 【小题3】 There are a dozen different things you can do with them. Experimenting with materials to create something new can go a long way in helping them develop their creativity.

3. Interpersonal Skills

Understanding how others feel can be a challenge for kids. We know what’s going on inside our own head, but what about others? Being able to read people helps kids from misreading a situation and jumping to false conclusions. 【小题4】 “Why do you think she’s crying?” “Can you tell how that man is feeling by looking at his face? If someone were to do that to you, how would you feel?”

4. Self-expression

【小题5】 There are many ways to express thoughts and ideas — music, acting, drawing, building, photography. You may find that your child is attracted by one more than another.

   I strongly believe that if a child is raised with approval，he will learn to love himself and will be successful in his own way. Several weeks ago，I was doing homework with my son in the third grade and he kept standing up from his chair to go over the math lines. I kept asking him to sit down，telling him that he would concentrate better. He sat but seconds later，as if he didn't even notice he was doing it，he got up again. I was getting discouraged，but then it hit me. I started noticing his answers were much quicker and more precise when he stood up. Could he be more focused while standing up？

This made me start questioning myself and what I had been raised to believe. I was raised to believe that being a quiet，calm child was a sure way to success. This child would have the discipline（自制力）to study hard，get good grades and become someone important in life.

Now those same people perhaps come to realize that their kids are born with their own sets of DNA and personality, and all you can do is loving and accepting them. As parents, throughout their growing years and beyond that, we need to be our kids' best cheerleaders, guiding them and helping them find their way.

I have stopped asking my son to sit down and concentrate. Obviously, he is concentrating just in his own way and not mine. We need to learn to accept our kids' ways of doing things. Some way may have worked for us but it doesn't mean we need to carry it through generations. There is nothing sweeter than being individual and unique. It makes us free and happy and that's just the way I want my kids to live their own life.

   "Which college are you going to？"Many high school students are often asked this question. For some，the answer is Harvard，Stanford，Princeton or another famous university. For others，it might be State U，a small liberal arts college or even a community college. Whether high school students' answer is a private top college or a large public university，it should be their best-fit choice.

Admission rates（录取率）of some of the country's top universities have been dropping for years up to now，with many admitting less than 10 percent of applicants. This makes these colleges all the more desirable to some applicants because they think being admitted to one of these highly selective colleges makes sure of success.

The truth is that the name brand doesn't make a college a good choice for you. Just ask one of the students who were admitted to all eight Ivy League colleges this year. He turned them all down to attend the University of Alabama，which best met his financial and academic needs.

Just like anything else in life，when something is a good fit，it works. Students that attend colleges that match their academic，social and financial needs，while still providing an academically challenging environment，are more likely to graduate on time. On the other hand，students who attend colleges that are not a good fit are more likely.to struggle，feel anxiety and stress，and fail to get out in four years. In fact，some of the colleges with the highest graduation rates aren't in the Ivy League.

It's a good fit that leads to good results — not the name of a school. Just look at some of the colleges with the highest starting salaries. Colleges like Montana Tech and Oregon Health & Science University are among the top 10 colleges with the highest early-career salaries-with Stanford and the Ivy Leagues only making the top 25.

No single college is going to be a great fit for every student，and this especially applies（适用）to the Ivy Leagues and other well-known colleges. That a college just has a famous name doesn't mean it's going to make sure of success in college or your career.