Several days ago when I went shopping in New York I saw an old woman crossed the street with a heavy bag in her hand. At that moment，the American boy was standing nearby. I thought the boy will help the old lady，and to my surprise，he did nothing. This seemed very strangely to me.

Later my roommate explained the boy's behaviors to me. Americans place emphasis to independence. If the boy had offered to help her，the old woman would have felt that she had considered old and weak. What the boy did it allowed her to keep her independence, that was more important to her than the discomfort of carrying a heavy load.

   Over the years, I've received a lot of advice from friends and family, trained professionals and books on how to get along with others and build strong relationships. Most of it is insightful（有见地的） and effective but when I'm caught up in the moment, I find it hard to apply what I've learned. This is especially true when it involves a multi-step process.

After analyzing many methods and experimenting in my own interactions（交流）, I've found one simple guideline that has helped me strengthen every one of my interpersonal relationships. This simple easy-to-remember tip is: Make the other person feel important.

No one likes to feel small and most conflicts（冲突）occur when you make others feel unimportant whether you plan to or not. The key to getting along with almost anyone is to avoid actions that diminish others and replace them with actions that build up others. Actually,you can strengthen your relationships with many actions.

When you interact with someone, give him your undivided attention. Don't look around to see what else is going on or check your phone or watch. Take time to listen and respond  accordingly to show  you're engaged. Make the other person feel like he is the most important person you’re meeting with.

Nothing will make someone light up more brightly than showing genuine interest in him. Be curious and ask specific questions based on what you hear. The more questions you ask, the better the interaction will go but keep in mind that you must be sincere. If you try to fake it, people can tell.

When it is possible,show that you consider the other person remarkable. Find opportunities to speak highly of this person to others as often as you honestly can. One trap to avoid is making others feel  more important by putting yourself down. This is never helpful so it's important that you lift others up in a way that respects everyone including you.

   I live in an apartment building in a planned community, including private roads. I have lived in this _______ of mostly professionals and retirees for over three years, but I had met only a few of my _______.

After the _______ had stopped falling, we were left to _______ ourselves because the city and state services didn't work. I went out to the parking lot to dig out my and my girlfriend's _______. I took a large metal piece of my desk to _______ as a shovel. After about 30 minutes of digging, some of the neighbors _______ with snow shovels and told me if I helped them, they would _______ me. I agreed and we dug out each other's cars. The streets were _______ due to a state of emergency declared by the governor, so we had ________ to go.

As I said, I only know my ________ neighbor, one who is elderly. But we all (we were 10 guys, all together, in the beginning) put our heads together and figured out who was too ________ or too ill to dig themselves ________ and went about, as a team, helping them. ________ the day went on, more and more people ________ us, men and women. We became an army of snow ________. Our only motivation was concern for the people who were ________ and our growing friendship.

Everyone was concerned for each other. Someone asked me if I had enough ________ to get by. It was typical of the spirit of the day. I ________ a lot of friends that day and we were planning a party to be held at the club house in spring.

Kindness and ________ for others has countless rewards!

   Living and dealing with kids can be a tough job these days, but living and dealing with parents can be even tougher.

If I have learned anything in my 16 years, it is that communication is very important, both when you disagree and when you get along. With any relationship, you need to let other person know how you are feeling. If you are not able to communicate, you drift apart. When you are mad at your parents, or anyone else, not talking to them doesn’t solve anything.

Communication begins with the concerns of another. It means that you can’t just come home from school, go up to your room and ignore everyone. Even if you just say “Hi” and see how their day was for five minutes, it is better than nothing.

If you looked up the word “communication” in a dictionary. It would say “the exchange of ideas, the conveyance (表达)of information, means of communication such as a letter or a message”. To keep a good relationship, you must keep communication strong. Let people know how you feel, even if it's Just by writing a note.

When dealing with parents, you always have to make them feel good about how they are doing as a parent. If you are trying to make them see something as you see it, tell them that you’ll listen to what they have to say, but ask them politely to listen to you. Yelling or walking away only makes the situation worse.

This is an example: one night, Sophie went to a street party with her friends. She knew she had to be home by midnight after the fireworks, but she didn’t feel she could just ask to go home. That would be rude. After all, they had been nice enough to take her along with them. Needless to say, she was late getting home. Her parents were mad at first, but when Sophie explained why she was late, they weren’t as mad and let the incident go. Communication is the key factor here. If Sophie’s parents had not been willing to listen, Sophie would have been in a lot of trouble.

Communication isn’t a one-way deal: it goes both ways. Just remember: if you get into a situation like Sophie’s, tell the other person how you feel-listening is the key factor to communication.