How to Listen to a Teen's Complaints

As your child reaches his teen years, he's likely experiencing a conflict（冲突）between his social and family lives. This often causes frequent complaining（抱怨）. 【小题1】By listening to your teen's complaints in an active way, you make your relationship better and allow for better joint decision-making.

【小题2】You can see complaints from your teen as natural and positive, though the actual content of what he says might be negative（负面的）. Believe that listening to your teen's complaints is a chance to know your teen better. By psychologically preparing yourself in this way, the conversation will go forward more easily.

Accept your teen's feelings. Understand that your teen's complaining behavior might be wrong but that his feelings are never wrong. Recognize that negative emotions are natural and do not easily fall under the control of teens or even adults. Note that your teen is at least handling his negative emotions in the right way—through words. 【小题3】

Listen patiently and carefully. 【小题4】Listen for the words in his complaints, such as "I am sick of this" or "It's unfair to me". This often shows his feelings. Through body language or eye contact, show your teen you are listening to him carefully.

React to your teen's complaint . 【小题5】 If you disagree, explain why. Finish the conversation by praising him for coming to you and expressing himself.

   Everyone needs a break, and vacations are not meant for serious study. 【小题1】 The Spring Festival is coming up so this is the perfect time to discuss some great English language literature to take on a long train journey.

Before getting into the recommendation, you need to determine your English reading comprehension level. If you’re at the beginner level, there are two options: reading a children’s book or reading a book that you’ve read in Chinese translation. 【小题2】 If you’re at the intermediate level, popular books like pop fiction, mysteries and thrillers are good options. For advanced readers, classic works of literature or modern prize winners (Nobel, Pulitzer) are good options.

【小题3】 When I pick up a book I like, even though the first few chapters are really hard to get through, I would try to get accustomed to the language the author uses. Generally, after the first few chapters, things get a lot easier, especially if I get involved in the story.

Another great way to keep yourself motivated is to find a friend who’s interested in reading the same book. You can make goals that you both want to achieve. 【小题4】

Some quick recommendations: Harry Potter, start with the first book and go on from there; the Narnia series; anything by US writer Michael Crichton; and if you like horror, US writer Stephen King is always unusual and fun. 【小题5】 Happy reading!

Empathy（同情），the Key to Being Kind

In science class，your teacher tells everyone to find a partner for a project. Out of the corner of your eye，you notice one girl sitting alone and not making eye contact with anyone. You think about asking her to be your partner，but you're afraid people will think you're uncool. You don't reach out. 【小题1】

Empathy is being able to understand and actually feel what someone else is feeling. For some people, this comes naturally; for others, it takes a bit more work. 【小题2】When you practice being empathetic, it gets easier to make kindness a part of your everyday life. If you can understand why people are feeling down, you'll want to help them. Here are some ideas that can help you.

【小题3】Someone not being able to find a group in class might not seem like a big deal--but part of being kind is noticing when someone seems sad, hurt or uncomfortable. After all, you have to notice how people feel in order to feel empathy and want to help them!

When you're trying to make kindness second nature, really getting other people's feelings is important. Whenever you find someone might be feeling lonely or sad, put yourself in his shoes. 【小题4】 Didn't you wish someone would reach out to you? If someone had offered you a few words of comfort, wouldn't it have made you feel so much happier?

So, when you find people around you who are feeling down next time, do not hesitate to put yourself in their shoes and reach out to them with a kind gesture. 【小题5】 There is always a time when you expect others to relate to you and feel what you feel.

   If you're the kind of person who loves travel but finds it difficult to break down language barriers，you may want to check out ICONSPEAK，a T-shirt covered in basic pictographs（图画文字）ranging from clocks to bathrooms. Simply point to the symbol associated with your need，and hopefully，the person you're talking to will understand you soon. I can tell you that it's better than having to make gestures to strangers.

ICONSPEAK is the brainchild of friends George and Florian. They were traveling through Asia in 2013 and found themselves in a remote（偏远的）village with no vehicle，no tourism，and just some locals. The problems they had while trying to express their needs to the locals inspired them to start working on a simple yet effective solution to the language gap. Two years later，they came up with the ICONSPEAK T-shirt.“In the furthest and deepest corners of our world we were repeatedly left with no words，either in breathtaking awe（赞叹）due to the scenery or in empty silence due to our lacking linguistic talents，”its website states.“Such situations got us thinking about how to bridge language barriers with simplicity on a global level. The answer came to us after a remarkable experience in Vietnam: ICONs. Because with ICONs, you can SPEAK, and you can SPEAK to the world.”

The ICONSPEAK collection consists of three types of T-shirts — long, short, sleeveless — as well as large bags and hats that feature fewer icons. The products are available internationally through the website, with the founders attesting that they work anywhere in the world.“I have used it in Norway,”said George.“It works beautifully — the people you ask are surprisingly quick in getting what you want or mean since they are anyway thinking in a certain context. If you point to the bus and the clock on the shirt and you do this at a bus stop, anybody will know that you want to know when the next bus leaves.”

ICONSPEAK is a clear example that the answer to complex problems can be very simple. I have yet to try the shirt, but somehow I have no doubt that it actually works. It might not always help, but for common problems, like finding a telephone, the nearest hotel or an ATM, ICONSPEAK seems like a good solution.

I’m sorry to trouble you, but _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Thank you!

Yours,

Li Ming