How to Listen to a Teen's Complaints

As your child reaches his teen years, he's likely experiencing a conflict（冲突）between his social and family lives. This often causes frequent complaining（抱怨）. 【小题1】By listening to your teen's complaints in an active way, you make your relationship better and allow for better joint decision-making.

【小题2】You can see complaints from your teen as natural and positive, though the actual content of what he says might be negative（负面的）. Believe that listening to your teen's complaints is a chance to know your teen better. By psychologically preparing yourself in this way, the conversation will go forward more easily.

Accept your teen's feelings. Understand that your teen's complaining behavior might be wrong but that his feelings are never wrong. Recognize that negative emotions are natural and do not easily fall under the control of teens or even adults. Note that your teen is at least handling his negative emotions in the right way—through words. 【小题3】

Listen patiently and carefully. 【小题4】Listen for the words in his complaints, such as "I am sick of this" or "It's unfair to me". This often shows his feelings. Through body language or eye contact, show your teen you are listening to him carefully.

React to your teen's complaint . 【小题5】 If you disagree, explain why. Finish the conversation by praising him for coming to you and expressing himself.

   Most people use the weekends to relax. 【小题1】 Because you’re on duty, you have to focus on your work seven days a week.

While you don’t have to be at your desk every minute of every day, weekends make you free to create your lifestyle so that you can get the most out of your busy schedule. Here are a few ways to make you more efficient both at work and in life during the weekends.

Don’t work 24/7. Though it’s important to think about your business on the weekend, you shouldn’t be working in the way you are during the week. 【小题2】 Instead, work on projects you enjoy or use the time to think about your business in a broader way. Ask yourself, “What do I want to accomplish this week, month or year?” Judge how your day-to-day activities are taking you closer to your long-term goals.

Check your e-mail once or twice a day. 【小题3】 Read all your messages, arrange activities, and then put your phone away. If you know you will be checking e-mail at a specific（特定的）time, you’ll be less likely to check it throughout the day.

【小题4】 You could go somewhere quiet to relax, or spend time with friends and family members. Since all your previous five days have been spent on your work, you deserve your own time to relax, and to strengthen your relationship with others. However, make sure you’re prepared to start your work on Monday while enjoying yourself. Don’t oversleep. Though some people enjoy sleeping until noon on the weekend, it’s not beneficial to your health. 【小题5】 So try not to sleep more than two or three extra hours on the weekend.

   I would love to be happier，as I'm sure most people would，so I think it will be interesting to find some ways to become a happier person.

1. Exercise more

Exercise has such a deep effect on our happiness and well-being that it's actually been proven to be an effective strategy（策略）for overcoming depression. 【小题1】 It can also improve your body image，even if you don't lose any weight.

2. Sleep more

We know that sleep helps our bodies to recover from the day and repair themselves，and that it helps us focus and be more productive. 【小题2】

3. Spend time with friends and family

【小题3】Several studies have found that time spent with friends and family makes a big difference to how happy we feel. Almost all the other things that we think make us happy are actually just ways of getting more families and friends.

4. Go outside

Spend time in the fresh air to improve your happiness. 【小题4】 One study found that spending 20 minutes outside in good weather not only improved our positive mood, but broadened thinking and improved working memory.

5. Help others

To make yourself feel happier, you should help others. Spending money on other people makes us happier than buying stuff for ourselves. 【小题5】 A study of volunteering showed that volunteers were affected and felt unhappy when their opportunities to help others were taken away.

   If you're the kind of person who loves travel but finds it difficult to break down language barriers，you may want to check out ICONSPEAK，a T-shirt covered in basic pictographs（图画文字）ranging from clocks to bathrooms. Simply point to the symbol associated with your need，and hopefully，the person you're talking to will understand you soon. I can tell you that it's better than having to make gestures to strangers.

ICONSPEAK is the brainchild of friends George and Florian. They were traveling through Asia in 2013 and found themselves in a remote（偏远的）village with no vehicle，no tourism，and just some locals. The problems they had while trying to express their needs to the locals inspired them to start working on a simple yet effective solution to the language gap. Two years later，they came up with the ICONSPEAK T-shirt.“In the furthest and deepest corners of our world we were repeatedly left with no words，either in breathtaking awe（赞叹）due to the scenery or in empty silence due to our lacking linguistic talents，”its website states.“Such situations got us thinking about how to bridge language barriers with simplicity on a global level. The answer came to us after a remarkable experience in Vietnam: ICONs. Because with ICONs, you can SPEAK, and you can SPEAK to the world.”

The ICONSPEAK collection consists of three types of T-shirts — long, short, sleeveless — as well as large bags and hats that feature fewer icons. The products are available internationally through the website, with the founders attesting that they work anywhere in the world.“I have used it in Norway,”said George.“It works beautifully — the people you ask are surprisingly quick in getting what you want or mean since they are anyway thinking in a certain context. If you point to the bus and the clock on the shirt and you do this at a bus stop, anybody will know that you want to know when the next bus leaves.”

ICONSPEAK is a clear example that the answer to complex problems can be very simple. I have yet to try the shirt, but somehow I have no doubt that it actually works. It might not always help, but for common problems, like finding a telephone, the nearest hotel or an ATM, ICONSPEAK seems like a good solution.