Signs of Healthy Friendships

Once in a while it's helpful to see if your friendship is as healthy as it can be. You might get used to a friendship over time to the point where you don't see the room for improvement. And since great friendships are priceless, you should always surround yourself with the kind of people who will lift your spirits, make you laugh, and remind（提醒）you that you are loved. 【小题1】 Here are characteristics that strong friendships share.

【小题2】

Friends make you feel comfortable with yourself, so you don't need to act like someone you're not. Your friends know your shortcomings and love you anyway. You are perhaps the "best version" of yourself when you're with your friends.

A healthy friendship includes plenty of gentle honesty. True friends won't pretend（假装）just to avoid an argument. 【小题3】As a result, you'll know where you stand with your friends and won't be afraid to share your true opinions.

They argue in a healthy way.

One of the biggest misunderstandings about good friends is that they never fight. But let's face it：everyone fights. 【小题4】 In fact, voicing your opinions freely will cause you to disagree from time to time and that's okay.

Healthy friendships mean you can be friends with someone else, too.

【小题5】 That's why great friends will improve your relationship yet still encourage you to meet people and try new things without them. A healthy friendship means that sometimes the two of you spend time apart, and that's okay.

Ariana caught another whiff(难闻的味道) and tried to hold her breath. She moved away slightly, but Ashley only moved closer and continued talking. Ariana felt trapped. She wanted badly to tell Ashley that she didn't smell very good. But how could she do that without hurting her feelings? Instead, she gathered the remains of her lunch to throw in the trash, thankful for the excuse to get some fresh air. She looked back to see Ashley eating quietly. Ashley's hair was tangled(乱糟糟的) , and her clothes were dirty. Ariana forced herself to go back to the table and take her seat, vowing(发誓) that she would not sit with Ashley tomorrow.

When Ariana got home from school, she complained to her mother, ''There's a girl named Ashley who likes to sit next to me in school, but she smells bad. ''

''She's probably having a tough day, '' said her mother.

''No, it's not just one day. She smells bad a lot, '' Ariana explained. ''Nobody else likes to sit next to her, either. ''

''I don't think you understand Ashley's situation, so let me ask you this..., '' Her mother's tone was serious. ''Who makes sure that your hair is combed every morning so you'll look nice when you go to school? ''

''You do, '' answered Ariana.

''Who makes sure you're bathed and cleaned every day? And your clothes are washed and neatly ironed? ''

''You and Daddy, '' Ariana said again.

''Do you live in a nice home? Do you have enough to eat? ''

Ariana nodded, beginning to feel guilty. She was starting to understand now. Ashley couldn’t help her situation because she was only seven years old—the same age as Ariana. Grown-ups are supposed to take care of kids.

''Why doesn't her family take better care of her? '' Ariana asked.

''Not all children live in the best situation, '' her mother said. ''The best thing you can do for Ashley is to treat her with kindness and sympathy. ''

   After the age of 25， the number of friendships we maintain begins to fall. 【小题1】

Learn to identify opportunities.

“We let chances to make friends pass us by every day，” says Kate Leaver in her book The Friendship Cure.  【小题2】“Instead of forcing a little small talk with your kind neighbours，” she says， “ask them in for a cuppa and get to know them. ” 

 【小题3】

Joining a group， club or class is an effective way to meet people. “Teaming up for a shared activity，project or goal is an experience that can promote bonding and closer connections，” says therapist Miriam Kirmayer. Pursue a challenge or skill you are interested in， because then you will have a good time and feel more at ease in starting a conversation.

Allow yourself to be vulnerable（脆弱的）.

 【小题4】 What if your offers are rejected? Leaver and Kirmayer say that a degree of vulnerability is needed in trying to start friendships. Keeping to yourself isn’t going to help you. Sharing recommendations or letting others in on plans， says Kirmayer， is a simple way to share， which will help build closeness and trust.

Don't put too much pressure on it.

As we age， our friendships change. According to a 2016 study， we hit our peak number of friendships at the age of 25. 【小题5】 clinical psychologist Linda Blair advises not putting too much pressure on any new connections and not expecting too much from one person.