Most students, when asked about their best graduation(毕业) gift, would probably reply, “ A car”, or “Money for a house”. Cai Kaiyuan, 21, made a difference choice. As a graduation gift to himself, he decided to work as a volunteer teacher in a distant village in Tibet.

    Cai, a student at Huan Railway Professional Technology College, at first planned to cycle from Sichuan to Tibet. It turned out cycling on a plateau(高原) was quite difficult. And it has kept changing his opinion on life. Cai's hands even became painful while cycling up a 5008-meter-high mountain, where temperatures often dropped to 18 below zero. At night, the ice covered the road and he fell off his bike three times. Little oxygen made him feel sick and weak. “At the most serious moment, I felt that was on the line,” said Cai.

    However, he also gained something unexpected. At Ya' an, a city in Sichuan, he met a group of tourists who are also university students. A girl called Wu Ling told him that she planned to work as a in a primary school in Tibet after her journey. He was impressed by the idea as she looked weak.

    It was not until he reached a family-run hotel in Shigatse that Cai's spirits began to rise. The hotel manager's two daughters enjoyed talking with him. The kids asked about his experiences on his trip, and showed him the beautiful local lakes. “They told me that they always liked to talk to guests, as they wanted to improve their Mandarin,” he said, “Their parents and many locals can only speak Tibetan.”

    Cai was moved by the girls' story. Their situation is worse and the local people have little chance to learn Mandarin because the schools are short of teacher. “1 want to do something to improve the situation for kids like them,” said Cai. His parents finally gave their agreement and his teachers also supported him.

Empathy

    Last year, researchers from the University of Michigan reported that empathy, the ability to understand other people, among college students had dropped a lot over the past 10 years. That could be because so many people have replaced face time with screen time, the researchers said. Today, people spend more time alone and seldom join groups and clubs.

    Jennifer Freed, a director of a teen program, has another explanation. on the TV, and you're showered with news and reality shows full of people fighting, competing, and generally treating one another with no respect(尊重).  Humans learn by example—and most of the examples on it are anything but empathetic.

    There are good reasons not to follow those bad examples. Humans are socially connected with nature. Having relationships with other people is an important part of being human—and having empathy is important to those relationships. Researchers have also found that empathetic teenagers always have high self-respect. Besides, empathy can be helpful for loneliness, sadness, anxiety, and fear.

    Empathy is also necessary for a good leader. In fact, Freed says, many top companies report that empathy is one the most important things they look for in new managers. Social skills—including empathy—are a kind of “emotional(情感的) intelligence" that will help you succeed in many areas of life. “Tests results are important. But if you don't have emotional intelligence, you won't be as successful in work or in your love life,” she says.

    What's the best way to up your EQ(情商)? For starters, let down your guard and really listen to others. “One doesn't develop empathy by having a lot of opinions and doing a lot of talking,” Freed says. To really develop empathy, you'd better volunteer at a nursing home or a hospital, join a club or a team that has a diverse membership, have a “sharing circle” with your family, or spend time caring for pets at an animal shelter.