A sense of humor is something highly valued. A person who has a great sense of humor is often considered to be happy and socially confident. However, humor is a double-edged sword. Sometimes it can damage self-respect and annoy others.

    People who use bonding humor tell jokes and generally lighten the mood. They're thought to be good at reducing the tension in uncomfortable situations. They often make fun of their common experiences, and sometimes they may even laugh off their own misfortunes. The basic message they deliver is: We're all alike, we find the same things funny, and we're all in this together.

    Put-down humor, on the other hand, is an aggressive type of humor used to criticize others through teasing. When it's aimed against politicians, as it often is, it's extremely funny and mostly harmless. But in the real world, it may have a harmful effect. An example of such humor is telling friends an embarrassing story about another friend. When challenged about their teasing, the put-down jokers might claim that they are "just kidding," thus allowing themselves to avoid responsibility. This type of humor, though considered by some people to be socially acceptable, may hurt the feelings of the one being teased and thus have a bad effect on personal relationships.

    Finally, in hate-me humor, the joker is the target of the joke for the amusement of others. This type of humor was used by comedians John Belushi and Chris Farley—both of whom suffered for their success in show business. A small amount of such humor is charming, but routinely offering oneself up to be embarrassed destroys one's self-esteem, and fosters depression and anxiety.

    So it seems that being funny isn't necessarily an indicator of good social skills and well-being. In certain cases, it may actually have a negative effect on interpersonal relationships.

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