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    One of the most striking findings of a newly research in the UK is that of the people interviewed, one in two believes that it is becoming more difficult to meet someone to start a family with.

    Why are many finding it increasingly difficult to start close relationships? Does modem life really make it harder to fall in love? Or are we making it harder for ourselves? It is certainly the case today that contemporary couples benefit in different ways from relationships. Women no longer rely upon partners for money or status. A man doesn't expect his wife to be in (唯一的) charge of running his household and raising his children.

    But perhaps the knowledge that we can live perfectly well without a partnership means that it takes much more to persuade people to abandon their independence.

    In theory, finding a partner should be much simpler these days. Only a few generations ago, your choice of soul mate was limited by geography, social convention and family tradition. Although it was never clear,many marriages were essentially arranged. Now those barriers have been broken down. You can approach a builder or a brain surgeon in any bar in any city on any given evening. When the world is your oyster ( 牡蛎), you surely have a better chance of finding a pearl.

    But it seems that the old conventions have been replaced by the limitations of choice. The expectations of partners are raised to an unmanageable degree: good looks, impressive salary, kind to grandmother, and right socks. There is no room for error in the first impression.

    We think that a relationship can be perfect. If it isn't, it should be ended. We work to protect ourselves against future heartache and don't put in the hard emotional labor needed to build a strong relationship. Twelve-hour work at the office makes relaxed after-hours dating difficult. The cost of housing and child-raising creates pressure to have a stable income and Career before a life partnership.

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    It was a cold winter day. A woman drove up to the Rainbow Bridge tollbooth (收费站). “I'm paying for myself, and for the six cars behind me,” she said with a smile, handing over seven tickets. One after another, the next six drivers arriving at the tollbooth were informed, “Some lady up ahead already paid your fare.”

    It turned out that the woman, Natalie Smith, had read something on a friend's refrigerator: “Practice random(不经意的) kindness and senseless acts of beauty.” The phrase impressed her so much that she copied it down.

    Judy Foreman spotted the same phrase on a warehouse wall far away from home. When it stayed on her mind for days, she gave up and drove all the way back to copy it down. “I thought it was beautiful,” she said, explaining why she'd taken to writing it at the bottom of all her letters, “like a message from above.” Her husband, Frank, liked the phrase so much that he put it up on the classroom wall for his students, one of whom was the daughter of Alice Johnson, a local news reporter. Alice put it in the newspaper, admitting(承认) that though she liked it, she didn't know where it came from or what it really meant.

    Two days later, Alice got a call from Anne Herbert, a woman living in Marin. It was in a restaurant that Anne wrote the phrase down on a piece of paper, after turning it around in her mind for days.

    “Here's the idea,” Anne says. “Anything you think there should be more of, do it randomly.” Her fantasies include painting the classrooms of shabby(破败的) schools, leaving hot meals on kitchen tables in the poor part of town, and giving money secretly to a proud old lady. Anne says, “Kindness can build on itself as much as violence can.”

    The acts of random kindness spread. If you were one of those drivers who found your fare paid, who knows what you might have been inspired to do for someone else later. Like all great events, kindness begins slowly, with every single act. Let it be yours!