I was 8 years old when I found out my father was ill. It was 1993, but I can remember my mother's words as if it were yesterday. “Jessica, I don't want you to take food from your father, because he has AIDS. Be very careful when you are around him.”

    AIDS wasn't something we talked about in my country when I was growing up. From then on, I knew that this would be a family secret. My parents were not together anymore, and my dad lived alone. For a while, he could take care of himself. But when I was 11, his condition worsened. My father's other children lived far away, so it fell to me to look after him.

    We couldn't afford all the necessary medication for him, and because Dad was unable to work. I had no money for school supplies and often couldn't even buy food for dinner. I would sit in class feeling completely lost, the teacher's words muffled as I was thinking how I was going to manage.

    I didn't share my burden (负担) with anyone. I had seen how people reacted to AIDS. Kids laughed at classmates who had parents with the disease. And even adults could be cruel. When my father was moved to the hospital, the nurses would leave his food on the bedside even though he was too weak to feed himself.

    I had known that he was going to die. But after so many years of keeping his condition a secret, I was completely unprepared when he reached his final days. Sad and hopeless, I called a woman at the nonprofit (非营利的) National AIDS Support. That day, she kept me on the phone for hours. I was so lucky to find someone who cared. She saved my life.

    I was 14 when my father died. He took his secret away with him, having never spoken about AIDS to anyone, even me. He didn't want to call attention to AIDS. I do.

    那邻居飞奔到集上，一地里寻不见；直寻到集东头，见范进抱着鸡，手里插个草标，一步一踱的，东张西望，在那里寻人买。邻居道：“范相公，快些回去！你恭喜中了举人，报喜人挤了一屋里。”范进道是哄他，只装不听见，低着头往前走，邻居见他不理，走上去，就要夺他手里的鸡。范进道：“你夺我的鸡怎的？你又不买。”邻居道：“你中了举了，叫你家去打发报子哩。”范进道：“高邻，你晓得我今日没有米，要卖这鸡去救命，为甚么拿这话来混我？我又不同你顽，你自回去罢，莫误了我卖鸡。”邻居见他不信，劈手把鸡夺了，掼在地下，一把拉了回来。报录人见了道：“好了，新贵人回来了。”正要拥着他说话，范进三两步走进屋里来，见中间报帖已经升挂起来，上写道：“捷报贵府老爷范讳进高中广东乡试第七名亚元。京报连登黄甲。”

    范进不看便罢，看了一遍，又念一遍，自己把两手拍了一下，笑了一声，道：“噫！好了！我中了！”说着，往后一交跌倒，牙关咬紧，不省人事。老太太慌了，慌将几口开水灌了过来。他爬将起来，又拍着手大笑道：“噫！好！我中了！”笑着，不由分说，就往门外飞跑，把报录人和邻居都吓了一跳。走出大门不多路，一脚________在塘里，________起来，头发都跌散了，两手黄泥，________一身的水。众人拉他不往，拍着笑着，一直走到集上去了。众人大眼望小眼，一齐道：“原来新贵人欢喜疯了。”老太太哭道：“怎生这样苦命的事！中了一个甚么举人，就得了这个拙病！这一疯了，几时才得好？”娘子胡氏道：“早上好好出去，怎的就得了这样的病！却是如何是好？”众邻居劝道：“老太太不要心慌。我们而今且派两个人跟定了范老爷。这里众人家里拿些鸡蛋酒米，且管待了报子上的老爹们，再为商酌。”