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母亲养蜗牛

    父亲去世后,母亲来北京跟我住。我忙于写作,实在抽不出空陪她。母亲被寂寞所困的情形,令人感到凄楚。

    楼上人家赠予母亲几只小蜗牛。那几个小东西,只有小指甲的一半儿大,粉红色,半透明,可爱极了。

    母亲非常喜欢这几个小生命,将它们安置在一个漂亮的茶叶盒儿里,还预先垫了潮湿的细沙。母亲似乎又有了需精心照料和养育的儿女了。她经常将那小铁盒儿放在窗台上,盒盖儿敞开一半,让那些小东西晒晒太阳。并且很久很久地守着,怕它们爬到盒子外边爬丢了。它们爱吃菜心儿,母亲便将蔬菜最嫩的部分细细剁碎,撒在盒儿内。

    母亲日渐一日地对它们有了特殊的感情。那种感情,是与小生命的一种无言的心灵交流。有时,为了讨母亲欢心,我也停止写作,与母亲共同观赏。

    八岁的儿子也对它们产生了浓厚的兴趣:“奶奶,它们能长多大啊?”

    “能长到你的拳头那么大呢!”

    “奶奶,你吃过蜗牛吗?”

    “吃?……”

    “奶奶,我想吃蜗牛!我还想喝蜗牛汤!我同学就吃过,说可好吃了!”

    “可……它们现在还小啊……”

    “我等它们长大了再吃。不,我要等它们生出小蜗牛以后再吃,这样我就可以一直有蜗牛吃了。奶奶你说是不是?”

    母亲愕然。

    我阻止他:“不许存这份念头!不许再跟奶奶说这种话!”儿子眨巴眨巴眼睛,受了天大委屈似的,一副要哭的模样。

    母亲便说:“好,好,等它们长大了,奶奶一定做给你吃。”

    从此,母亲观看那些小生命的时候,儿子肯定也凑过去观看。

    先是,儿子问它们为什么还没长大,而母亲肯定地回答--它们分明已经长大了。

    后来是,儿子确定地说,它们已经长大了,不是长大了一些,而是长大了许多。而母亲总是摇头--根本就没长。

    然而,不管母亲和儿子怎么想,怎么说,那些小生命的确是一天天长大着。壳儿开始变黑变硬了,它们的头和柔软的身躯,从背着的“房屋”内探出时,憨态可掬,很有妙趣了。

    母亲将它们移入一个大一些的更漂亮的盒子。

    “奶奶,它们就是长大了吧?它们再长大一倍,就该吃它们了吧?”

    “不行。得长到和你拳头一般儿大。你不是说要等它们生出小蜗牛之后再吃吗?”

    “奶奶,我不想等了,现在就要吃,只吃一次,尝尝什么味儿就行了。”

    母亲默不作答。

    我认为有必要和儿子进行一次严肃的谈话了。趁母亲不在家,我将儿子拉至跟前,对他讲奶奶一生多么地不容易;讲自爷爷去世后,奶奶内心的孤独和寂寞;讲那些小蜗牛对于奶奶的意义……儿子低下头说:“爸爸,我明白了,如果我吃了蜗牛,便是吃了奶奶的那一点儿欢悦。”从此,儿子再不盼着吃蜗牛了。

    一天晚饭时,母亲端上一盆儿汤,对儿子说:“你不是要喝蜗牛汤吗?我给你做了,快喝吧。”我狠狠瞪儿子一眼。儿子辩白:“不是我让奶奶做的!”母亲朝我使了个眼色。我困惑地慢呷一口,鲜极了!但那不是蜗牛汤,而是蛤蜊汤。

    其实母亲是把那些能够独立生活的蜗牛放了,放于楼下花园里的一棵老树下。她依然每日将菜蔬之最鲜嫩的部分,细细剁碎,撒于那棵树下……

    一天,母亲说:“我又看到它们了!它们好像认识我似的,往我手上爬。”我望着母亲,见母亲满面异彩。那一刻,我觉得老人们心灵深处情感交流的渴望,令我肃然,令我震颤,令我沉思……”

(作者:梁晓声。有删改)

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    Biologists believe that love is fundamentally a biological rather than a cultural construct, because the capacity for love is found in all human cultures and similar behavior is found in some other animals. In humans the purpose of all the desire is to focus attention on the raising of offspring. Children demand an unusual amount of parenting, and two parents are better than one. Love is a signal that both partners are committed, and makes it more likely that this commitment will continue as long as necessary for children to reach independence. But what does science have to say about the notion of love at first sight?

    In recent years the ability to watch the brain in action has offered a wealth of insight into the mechanics of love. Researchers have shown that when a person falls in love, a dozen different part of brain work together to release chemicals that trigger feelings of euphoria, bonding and excitement. It has also been shown that the unconditional love between a mother and a child is associated with activity in different regions of the brain from those associated with pair-bonding love.

    Passionate love is rooted in the reward circuitry of the brain—the same area that is active when humans feel a rush from cocaine. In fact, the desire, motivations and withdrawals involved in love have a great deal in common with addiction. Its most intense forms tend to be associated with the early stages of a relationship, which then give way to a calmer attachment form of love one feels with a long term partner.

    What all this means is that one special person can become chemically rewarding to the brain of another. Love at first sight, then, is only possible if the mechanism for generating long-term attachment can be triggered quickly. There are signs that it can be. One line of evidence is that people are able to decide within a second how attractive they find another person. This decision appears to be related to facial attractiveness, although men may favor women with waist-to-hip ratio of 0.7, no matter what their overall weight is. (This ratio may indicate a woman's reproductive health.)

    Another piece of evidence comes from work by a psychologist at Ben-Gurion University, who found in a survey that a small percentage (11%) of people in long-term relationships said that they began with love at first sight. In other words, in some couples the initial favorable impressions of attractiveness triggered love which sustained a lengthy bond. It is also clear that some couples need to form their bonds over a longer period, and popular culture tells many tales of friends who become lovers.

    One might also assume that if a person is looking for a partner with traits that cannot be quantified instantly, such as compassion, intellect or a good sense of humor, then it would be hard to form a relationship on the basis of love at first sight. Those more concerned with visual appearances, though, might find this easier. So it appears that love at first sight exists, but is not a very common basis for long-term relationships.