Research shows that childhood friendships are important indicators of future success and social adjustment. Children's relationships with peers (同龄人) strongly influence their success inschool, and children with fewer friends are more at risk of dropping out of school, becoming depressed and other problems.
Making and Keeping Friends Is More than Child's Play
When 6-year-old Rachel returned to school on a recent Monday morning, her eyes immediately scanned the playground for her friend Abbie. “Though they were only separated by a weekend, the girls ran right into each other's arms and hugged,” recalls Rachel's mother Kathryn Willis of Gilbert. “It was like a scene from a movie.”
Most parents instinctively (本能地) know that having friends is good for their child. Experts agree that friendship isnot simply child's play, but a powerful predictor of social adjustment throughout life.
A Skill for Life
“Childhood friendships serve as a very important training ground for adulthood,” says Dr. Robbie AdlerTapia, psychologist with the Center for Children's Health & Life Development at the East Valley Family Resource Center.
Researcher William Hartup states,“Peerrelations contribute significantly to both social and cognitive (认知的) development.” Hartup concludes that the single best childhood predictor of adult social adaptation is not school grades or classroom behavior, butrather, how well a child gets along with other children.
The work of Arizona State University professor of Developmental Psychology Gary Ladd proves that just as being ableto make and keep friends is beneficial to kids while the lack of friends is detrimental.
Good Friendships Don't Just Happen
Experts agree that it is essential forchildren to establish highquality friendships. But, researchers warn, these friendships don't necessarily just happen. Often, a good friendship begins with involvedparents.
Psychologist Dr. Lynne Kenney Markan believes kids should be taught social skills in much the same way they are taught math and reading.
Bad Company
Many parents worry about the quality aswell as the quantity of their child's friendships. “When she was in 1st grade, her supposed ‘best friend’ began calling her names and threatening to hurt her,”says Mindy Miller. “My daughter wasn't allowed to talk to or even look at other girls in her class. It really crushed her spirit. I told my daughter she didn't need a ‘friend’ like that.”
“I'll bend over backwards(拼命) to help my son get together with a friend I think is good for him,” Adler Tapiasays. “I don't look at it as manipulation (操纵)，just positive parental involvement.”
