Many parents have learned the hard way that what sounds like open communication is often the very thing that closes a youngster's ears and mouth. One common mistake is the Lecture, the long monologue that often starts with “When I was your age” Eighteen-year-old Kelly calls lectures “long, one-side discussions in which I don't say much.”

    Kids reflexively(条件反射地)shut down in the face of a lecture. Their eyes glaze over(呆滞),and they don't register any incoming information. Listen to 13-year-old Sarah describe her least favorite times with her mom and dad. “First, they scream. Then comes the ‘We're so disappointed' speech. Then the ‘I never did that to my parents' lecture begins. After that, even if they realize how ridiculous they sound they never take it back.”

    Lines like “When you have children of your own, you'll understand” have been seriously said by parents since time immemorial. But many of our expert parents, like Bobby, a registered nurse and mother of three, feel that by falling back on clichés(陈词滥调)to justify your actions, we weaken our position.

    Since kids are creatures of here and now, the far-off future has no relevance to them. Therefore, good communicators like Bobby suggest, “Give specific reasons for your actions in present language: ‘I'm not letting you go to the party because I don't think there will be enough adult supervisions.'”

    Betty, who lives in Missouri, uses an indirect approach. “I find that warnings are accepted more readily if I discuss a news article on a subject I am concerned about. My husband and I talk about it while our children absorb the information. Then they never think I'm preaching(布道).”

    This really helped when Betty's kids began driving. Instead of constantly repeating “Don't drink; don't speed,” she would talk about articles in the paper and express sympathy for the victims of a car crash. Betty made no special effort to draw her kids into the conversation. She depended on a teenager's strong desire to put in his opinions---especially if he thinks he isn't being asked for them.

一元硬币有银白色金属光泽，一些同学认为它可能是由铁制成的．在讨论时，有同学提出：“我们可以先拿磁铁来吸一下．就“一些同学认为它可能是由铁制成的”这一环节而言，属于科学探究中的____ ．

阅读陈村《回想铁生》一文，完成下列各题。

    ①他跟我很投缘，也许因为我们有相似的经历，都曾当过知青，都是病退回城，都曾在里弄加工组谋生，都属于残疾人，都写作。但他站不起来了，我还能弯曲地站立和难看地短程行走。在我眼里，史铁生是当代中国最好的作家。

    ②他的体格，本来应该很高大，很健硕。开始于十九岁的劫难塞给他另外一条路，母亲和朋友说服他，他说服自己，后来成了我认识的、阅读的史铁生。

    ③这些年，我到北京必去望望史铁生，坐两三个小时，吃顿饭。住下来可以多说话，可他的身体禁不住打扰。他的截瘫，他的肾脏萎缩，用他的话说，发动机和轮子都坏了，维持身体的运行很累。每周两到三次的肾脏透析，不由分说地打断他的生活和思维。

    ④他常常想得比人们深入透彻，他有自己的理由和节律。他不作状，而是常常省察自己的内心。史铁生坦然写他自己，他的一生透明坦荡，读过他作品的人知道他许多往事，也看见他的许多思索。

    ⑤那些困苦，经受血的洗礼后成了他的资源，使他从此走向内心，走通命定之路，去看他人和世界。他追问，但不控诉，不失态。史铁生通常并不抱怨，他知道感恩，知道生的命题下的诸多奥义。他从腿开始思想，体察心灵。他更多被阅读的是《我的遥远的清平湾》，《我与地坛》，《命若琴弦》．那样的故事只有他能写。

    ⑥他的身体可说是残花败絮，比古瓷更碰不得。即便在轮椅上，史铁生也坐不长，因下肢的神经被截瘫殃及，久坐后血液回流不畅。他的椅子和床一定要仔细清扫，被硌着不知道，失去知觉的皮肤很容易就破皮，一旦感染经久不愈。他手腕上的血管因透析伤痕累累。他常吃着饭汗就出来了，吃饭对他是大运动量。他也抽烟，吸两口就掐了，过会儿再点上。他必须节制饮水，饮白酒似的喝一小口，水进入身体要等两天后才能靠透析排出。这两天里身体积累的毒素令他昏昏然，无法思索。毒素和血液中的营养被透析强行清除，身体犹如飘在云上。水火交替，他两天中只有很短的时间可以阅读、写作。《病隙碎笔》，就是他在疾病的空隙中零碎写成的。家中来朋友，头天要躺着休息，攒下精神接待，然后两个小时内耗尽。病到后来，他的手无力支撑自己上床上车。他床边有架国外买来的机器，将他从轮椅上吊起，转移到床的上方再放下。有时，他将自己悬挂起来，让受压的皮肤休息一会儿，以免患上褥疮。他就在这样的境况中写许多文章，出多本书，甚至有《务虚笔记》和《我的丁一之旅》两部长篇小说。

    ⑦复旦大学的“史铁生追思会”，屏幕上打出他的肖像。照片是我2001年拍的，那天他50周岁。他那么神采奕奕，宽厚地笑着。史铁生和他的作品真诚，温暖，厚重。这样的作家是不会死的。1月6日民俗说的“头七”晚上，中国二十多个地方的读者自发追思史铁生。我从没见过一个中国当代作家被读者这样整齐地认可。史铁生来自平民，他的写作属于人民。

（《散文•海外版》）