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Feeling sad is an important part of human nature.
Jerome Wakefield, a professor at New York University, mentions that feeling down after your heart is broken is normal and may even be beneficial. Recently, Wakefield's students have been coming up to him because their parents are pressuring them to get help for their sadness; often the kids want no part of it. Rather than “listen to medicine,” they want to listen to their hearts. He believes these students' reaction represents an important part of human nature.
Professor Diener, who has studied happiness for a quarter century, finds that the Scots and many other peoples like being sad, and don't appreciate being told they should be happier. “They say too much happiness might not be such a good thing, no matter where it comes from,” says Diener. He believes it's wrong for the “happiness industry” to send the message that not only can we all be happier, but we have a duty to be so. He argues that what is considered normal sadness is something we shouldn't avoid.
Eric Wilson, a professor at Wake Forest University, made every effort to smooth out his habitual frown and wear a sunny smile, since a happy expression can lead to happy feelings. He even tried to be enthusiastic. When neither of these made him happy, he concluded that such a happiness movement was no good for him at all. Americans, love for happiness, he writes, creates an environment where sadness is not valued.
These researchers believe the problem of continuous, extreme happiness should not be surprising, since negative emotions developed for a reason. Fear warns us against the presence of danger, for instance. Sadness, too, seems to be part of our DNA: monkeys, dogs and elephants all display something that looks like sadness. Being “up” all the time can cause you to play down very real threats.
They believe that only by experiencing sadness can we experience the fullness of the human condition. Their studies show that when you are in a negative frame of mind, you become more logical and more creative. Abraham Lincoln was not limited by his dark moods, and Beethoven composed his later works in a sad state. Vincent van Gogh, Emily Dickinson and other artistic giants saw the world through a glass darkly.
People who are somewhat unhappy are more motivated to improve both their own lot and the lot of their community. In contrast, people at the top of the happiness charts feel no such urgency. “If you're totally satisfied with your life,” says Diener, “you don't feel like working for change. Be careful when people tell you that you should be happier.”
