Dear Anne,

    I like your column very much. I met a girl four years ago at a gym. She was the one who originally approached me and we became good friends. Then one day, she made me really angry, so angry that I just left and we never saw each other again.

    Looking back, I really regret ending things that way. It was a cowardly act on my part, but I had a terrible temper at that time and let the smallest thing get to me. Recently, I've started thinking about her again and I looked up her e-mail address. I thought about writing to say “Hi” and apologize for what I did but I'm not sure. She could still be angry with me, or maybe she has forgotten me. I feel very lonely and I want to see her again. What should I do?

Tom

Dear Tom,

    She may still be angry with you, and she may have forgotten the friendship between you, but that doesn't mean she doesn't deserve an apology. Tom, how many of us have wished for the day that someone who treated us badly saw the light and finally owned up? But we rarely get that kind of expected result. So sure, e-mail her and say “Hi”.

    Tell her you have been thinking about her and just want to apologize for getting angry and being a coward by walking out on her. But you should remember if she thinks you're apologizing just because you are lonely, she might dismiss your sincerity. Therefore, don't mention that. If she wants to see you again, she'll make sure that happens.

    Even if she doesn't want to be your friend, I can assure you, she'll appreciate the gesture. And it might make you think twice next time you get angry.

Anne