飘香的榆树叶

陈斯高

    ①儿子知道我喜欢侍弄花草，这次出差，给我带回了一盆榆树桩。高高的紫砂花盆上突兀着古朴虬典的树桩。树桩的弯曲处恰到好处地挨着花盆的边沿蜿蜒而下，指甲大的榆叶或卷或舒或大或小，淡绿一丛，葱茏茂盛，恰似一条绿色的瀑布。啊，又到了榆叶飄香的时候了！

    ②小时候，家里穷，粮食不够吃，每到春天，挖野草、摘榆叶，打洋槐花便是我和二姐放学的主要事情。榆树叶细腻滑爽，吃在嘴里软软的，有一股淡淡的清香。榆树皮用斧头锤软，用石磨磨成糊状，再掺上少许杂面，可做成榆饼。记得八岁那年春天，二姐带着我到西村树行里去摘榆树叶。啊，好大的一片林子，榆树叶刚放青，一片淡绿。东风吹拂，嫩草芊芊，小鸟在枝头啁啾，蝴蝶在草上翻飞。我脱了鞋，爬上一棵高大的榆树，发现青枝绿叶间有一个很大的鸟窝。连忙爬过去，想看看鸟窝里有没有鸟蛋，突然一条青梢蛇从鸟窝里探出了头，我吓得魂飞魄散，飞快滑下树，鞋也顾不上穿，提着篮子就跑，连肚皮被树枝划破直流血都顾不上擦。心疼得二姐在后面直抹眼泪。

    ③六十年代初，我上了中学。在学校食宿。一个星期天我回家，见父亲在灶下烧火，母亲在锅上忙碌着。她对我说：“估计你今天回来，做了点榆饼，你尝尝。”我迫不及待地掀开锅盖，一股不可名状的香味随着蒸腾的热气扑鼻而来。母亲铲了一块给我，我贪婪地吃着，虽然有少许涩苦，但比饿肚子强多了．我一口气吃了三决。父亲告诉我，家里没粮了，已经两天没烧锅。你妈怕你回来饿，昨天晚上去扒了榆树皮，连夜磨成糊子，给你做顿榆饼。我望着母亲瘦削的已经浮肿的脸，泪溢满了眼眶。连忙从书包里掏出平时在学校舍不得吃，省下来给父母亲的大大小小有半块的、有小半决的山芋干面团子，塞给了母亲。

    ④这二十多年，生活一天比一天看好。再也用不着吃榆树叶、树皮饼，在心里把它渐渐地淡忘了。去年春天，我肠胃不好，便秘。医生说，要多吃点含粗纤维的食物。我没在意，出了医院就忘了。好在便秘也不是什么大病。一天吃中饭，老伴端上一盘黄绿相间的饼子，还神秘兮兮地朝着我笑。我一看，是榆树叶掺着玉米面做成的饼，黄灿灿绿莹莹的煞是诱人，缕缕热气蒸腾着沁人心脾的香味。原来，老伴听了医生的话后，记在心里，星期天专门回家，摘了一大篮嫩榆叶，又向人家要了几碗玉米面。她怕我吃不下，除掺了一半小麦粉外，还加了点糖和芝麻。真难为她想得这么细，我好感动!吃了两块，居然口感极佳，别有风味。以后，又连续吃了两次，从那就再也没有便秘过。

    ⑤进入人生的秋天，总爱回忆过去。在心里慢慢咀嚼那些难以忘记的往事，那坎坷不平的生活道路，那绵绵于心千缠百绕的亲情、爱情；细细品味生活的酸甜苦辣，人生的沧海桑田。那漫溢在其中的爱总会令我激动，令我向往，令我缠绵，令我沉醉。永远长留在我的心头，成为我心中一片葱茏的绿荫。

    Christmas was near a season that we took seriously in our house. But a week or so before the 25th, my father would give each of his children $ 20. This was the 1970s, and $ 20 was quite a bit of money.

    But I saw it differently. My father trusted me to have the smart to spend money wisely. Even better, he gave me the means to get it. On a very basic level, my father was giving me a shopping spree (狂欢) every year.. But he was also giving me charge over my own fun, trusting my ability to manage money and making me feel like a grown-up. He didn't buy me Sherlock Holmes, but he gave me the means to walk into the bookstore and choose it for myself, so it felt like a gift from him.

    My mother had a gift for giving me what I needed, usually right at the moment I needed it most. This was when I was 25, I failed at being an adult on my very first try. I had quitted my previous job but had no new one. But when my mother paid me a visit, I put on a good show, telling her I had started my own company.

    My mother knew that I was trying hard and failing at that time. It wasn't until after she left that I noticed at the foot of my bed an envelope thick with cash. She knew how desperately I needed it. She knew that had she just shown up with groceries, or offered to pay my rent, she would have made me feel much worse. The cold, hard cash meant she was helping me. And, funnily enough, the distance with which she gave the gift felt like she was giving me space to fix my life and preserve my dignity. My mother and father both did the same thing. One was giving me the means to take my own decisions, and the other was giving me a second chance when those decisions had cost me dearly.