On a recent visit to the Museum of Modem Art with a friend and her daughter,wandering through the museum's exhibits,I was struck by how often my friend's 13-year-old daughter asked us to take photos of her with her smart phone in front of the artwork.Then,she gazed at the photos which she would then post on Instagram,Snapchat and all the rest.She was not the only person who was doing this; it seemed everyone was busy taking photos of themselves "experiencing" the museum.

    This is by no means a criticism of my friend's daughter or anyone else.What was concerning,at least to me,was that in between being photographed and posting,my friend's daughter had no interest in the artwork,a fact which didn't seem to matter or have anything to do with wanting to post herself as someone enjoying the experience.

    When I was her age,I had no interest in going to museums either.Having no interest in art at her age (and any age) is completely normal.But what is disturbing is how much of a young person's energy these days goes into creating an image of the life they're living and the character they "are" in that life.While creating a self-image has always been a big part of growing up and figuring out our identity,social media seems to have changed the rules of the game.Social media has not just increased the pressure and possibility of creating a self-generated（自我创造的）  self-image,but also distorted（歪曲）the process through which we become who we are.Young people now seem to be creating an image of who they are in place of becoming who they are,posting their life rather than living it.

    Social media has turned life and its experiences into an exercise in narcissism（自恋，自我陶醉）.No matter what the experience is actually about,it becomes about you,the person who is living it.A concert is not about the music,a restaurant not about the food and a sport event not about the sport;it's all about you,the doer,and what the event says about you.As a result the more we use life create an identity,the more distant from life we feel.Instead of being part of it,we feel as if we have to keep generating new life material.

    I hope the next time you post your story,pause for a moment and experience where you are,feel what it feels like to live what you're living without using life for your benefit,or for anything at all.Just live,without the narrative（叙述）.While you may feel this practice is a threat to your identity,causing you to miss a chance to prove your value,in fact,the benefit will far outweigh any loss it brings.

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清水一般的杨绛

李娟

    看杨绛先生和钱钟书先生年轻时的照片，钱钟书潇洒俊朗，她温婉清秀，真是一对璧人。我觉得，他们骨子里散发出的儒雅和端庄最为动人。暮年时，他们都穿着黑色的衣裳，戴着黑框的眼镜，两位白发老人一起捧书阅读的侧影，那么安详、静美、温情。他们一生只做好一件事，此生只深爱一个人。

    世间所有的繁华都过去了，他们的漫漫人生有书相伴，一同在书香里优雅地老去，多好。钱钟书曾称赞她：最贤的妻，最才的女。读杨绛先生的《一百岁感言》，不由得惊叹，杨绛先生已是百岁老人了。岁月的河流中，有的人，如江南人家的一坛女儿红，历久弥香，醇厚芳香。老去的只是光阴，不老的，永远是她的人格魅力。

    她在《一百岁感言》中写到：“一个人经过不同程度的锻炼，就获得不同程度的修养、不同程度的效益。好比香料，捣得愈碎，磨得愈细，香得愈浓烈。我们曾如此渴望命运的波澜，到最后才发现：人生最曼妙的风景，竟是内心的淡定与从容……”

    她八十余岁时，钱钟书和女儿钱瑗相继病重住院，她奔波在两座医院、两位病人之间，悉心照料，辛苦和操劳可想而知。钱先生临终，眼睛一直未合上，她在他的耳边柔声地低语：“你放心，有我。”听到这句话，钱先生安然离世。这是她年轻时常对他说的话。早年她和钱先生一起留学英国，在英国牛津生下女儿钱瑗。在她住院期间，常见钱先生苦着脸去看她。一次，他说，不小心将墨水打翻了，染了桌布。她说，不要紧，有我，我洗。几天后他又说，门轴坏了，不能锁门了。她又说，不要紧，有我，我修。他感激之余，对于杨绛所说的“不要紧，有我”深信不疑。

    钱钟书一生学贯中西，著书立说，但在生活琐事面前却如幼童一般束手无策。有她一生陪伴在身旁，与他比翼齐飞，做他温柔的知己。直到他生命的尽头，她还是那句话：“你放心，有我。”在生死面前，内心如此强大和沉静，听之令人落泪。此时，她唯一的孩子钱瑗也已经过世。

    她说：“钟书逃走了，我也想逃走，但是逃到哪里去呢？我压根不能逃走，我得留在人世间打扫现场，尽我应尽的责任。”尘世间，她最爱的俩人都离她而去，内心的悲苦和孤独无以言表。八十余岁的老人，提笔写下散文集《我们仨》，写下一个学者家庭半个多世纪的相濡以沫、患难情深，写下我们仨在人世的点点滴滴，如微风细雨，温馨感人。

    在“文革”那段黑暗的日子，大批知识分子无辜遭遇劫难，他们都被下放“干校”劳动。艰苦繁重的劳动之余，杨绛先生写下散文《干校六记》，从容练达，幽默风趣，细微处见真情。那是寒冬里一树树盛开的梅花，清芬暗盈，几乎所有的苦难都被她一支妙笔化解了，连同那漫天的冰雪。她温情而柔弱地支撑着他，相依相伴，不离不弃。

    杨绛先生年近九十岁，开始认真整理钱先生几十年来的书稿和笔记。那些手稿历经半个世纪的风霜，纸张发黄变脆，字迹模糊不清，她一字一句艰难地辨认，抄录，整理，而后相继出版了《容安馆札记》《钱钟书手稿集·中文笔记》。

    钱先生离去了，留下她一个人在人世间“打扫现场”，完成钱先生未完成的事业。她以这样的方式，寄托自己深深的思念。书稿所得的稿费和版税800万元，全部捐赠母校清华大学，成立“好读书”奖学金。留给后来的莘莘学子，连同他们一生严谨治学的精神。

    有一次，媒体邀请她参加作品研讨会，她没有去。还幽默地说：“稿子交出去了，卖书就不是我该管的事。我只是一滴清水，不是肥皂水，不能吹泡泡。”听她的话，令人莞尔。她说得真好。她就是一滴清水，文字和内心一样干净，清澈，透亮。她清华其外，淡泊如水，不做媚世之态，也不被俗世所打扰，一生沉浸在文字里，一活就是百余岁，终成一代大师，成为被世人尊称“先生”的女性。

（选编自《作文周刊》2016年第1期，有删改）

相关链接：杨绛生于民国，江苏无锡人，本名杨季康，是著名作家、学者钱锺书的夫人。杨绛通晓英语、法语、西班牙语，由她翻译的《唐·吉诃德》被公认为最优秀的翻译佳作，迄今已累计发行70多万册；她早年创作的剧本《称心如意》，被搬上舞台长达六十多年，至今还在公演；杨绛93岁出版散文随笔《我们仨》，风靡海内外，再版达一百多万册，96岁出版哲理散文集《走到人生边上》，102岁出版250万字的《杨绛文集》八卷。