Many parents like setting family rules for their kids. When kids break rules, parents will give them some punishments, which aren’t included in rules. In fact, when you tell your kids about a new rule, you should talk with them about the price they should pay for breaking the rule — what the punishment will be.
Punishments you set should be reasonable, without violence or threat (暴力或威胁). For example, if you find your son smoking, you may limit his social activities for two weeks. You should punish your kids only in ways you have discussed before the rule is broken. A study shows that the most popular punishment is to limit kids' TV time.
It's understandable that you'll be angry when rules are broken. Punishment is a way to express your anger, but it's not a very good one. Sharing your feelings of anger, disappointment or sadness with your kids can have a better effect (效果) on them. Try to do that. When your kids know what they have done has made you sad, they will feel compunctious. When they know their actions influence you greatly, they will obey rules better.
Rules are made to help your kids behave better. If your rules or ways of punishment make them unhappy or under a lot of pressure, are they helpful?
