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Sorry seems to be the hardest word. So sang Elton John on one of his biggest 1970s hits——but not every public figure seems to find it so tough to let out that powerful five-letter word.
In recent months varieties of public figures, from politicians, to Hollywood actors and You Tube stars have all publicly expressed regrets.
But with floods of regrets on the airwaves, just how can we tell a forced apology from a heartfelt expression?
In its purest form, saying sorry should be an “act of regrets, a realization that something you have said or done has hurt someone and you want to repair it”, says psychologist Geraldine Joaquim.
Made early, a sincere apology can be hugely beneficial and can “relieve the tension and takes the wind out of an accusers sails”, she says.
A need to say sorry can arise in someone's public life and equally at home with their family and friends but, whatever the environment, how well it is received depends on how personalized it feels.
From businesses, governments and organizations, a scripted response will fail to resonate (引起共鸣) as it will not convey empathy (同理心) and sympathy.
Whether online or in person, the timing and choice of language in an apology are decisive factors.
“It is important to show that you understand and sympathize,” says Martin Stone, of PR agency Tank, “It is vital that any business or individual making an apology understands the focus- is it sorry for the way it's acted or is it sorry that the complainant feels the way they do?” Performed apologies always have a sense of being “acted out, and are often accompanied by too many theatrical gestures. If sincere, the person making the apology will be looking for listening clues to see if they are being understood, such as eye contact and facial expressions. They will provide “humbling (谦卑的) signals”, such as a lowered head, to indicate regrets.
It is also important to avoid irresponsible statements or promises that can't be kept. “Don't say that you'll ensure that this will not happen again if you're not confident it won't. It could come back to bite you,” Stone explains.
Equally, the use of “but” can hugely change the tone of an apology.
As Stone points out. 'I'm sorry but... It sounds like you are making excuses and aren't actually taking any form of responsibility. It may be three letters but it can instantly make an apology seem hollow,”
Passage outline | Detailed information |
Does sorry seem to be the most difficult word? | For some, it seems to be a ____ nut to crack while for others, it is just a piece of cake. |
Is it a heartfelt apology? | • There being a storm of regrets on the airwaves, it is hard to make a ____ between a sincere apology or a forced one. • In its purest form, apology means offering regrets, which can be hugely beneficial if ____ early. • A scripted apology from business, governments and organizations doesn't resonate, thus being ____ to convey empathy and sympathy. • Whatever the environment is, the ____ to which an apology is received depends on how personalized it feels. |
How can we make a heartfelt apology? | • ____ you say sorry is one decisive factor. The earlier you say sorry, the sooner the complainant will feel it. • The choice of your ____ language is the other decisive factor. You're not ____ out the apology. You should provide humbling signals to indicate regrets. • Be ____ for the statements or promises you make. Don't say anything that can't be kept. • Never find ____ for your wrong behaviors with “but”. |
