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    The evidence for harmony may not be obvious in some families. But it seems that four out of five young people now get on well with their parents, which is the opposite of the popularly-held image of unhappy teenagers locked in their room after endless family quarrels.

    An important new study into teenage attitudes surprisingly shows that their family life is more harmonious than it had ever been in the past. “We were surprised by just how positive today's young people seem to be about their families,” said one member of the research team. “They're expected to be rebellious(叛逆的) and selfish but actually they have other things on their minds: they want a car and material goods, and they worry about whether school is serving them well. There's more negotiation(商议) and discussion between parents and children, and children expect to take part in the family decision-making process. They don't want to rock the boat.”

    So it seems that this generation of parents is much more likely than parents of 30 years ago to treat their children as friends. “My parents are happy to discuss things with me and willing to listen to me,” says 17-year-old Daniel Lazall. “I always tell them when I'm going out clubbing. As long as they know what I'm doing, they're fine with me.” Susan Crome, who is now 21, agrees. “Looking back on the last 10 years, there was a lot of what you could call negotiation. For example, as long as I'd done all my homework, I could go out on a Saturday night. But I think my grandparents were a lot stricter with my parents than that.”

    Maybe this positive view of family life should not be unexpected. It is possible that the idea of teenage rebellion(反抗) is not rooted in real facts. A researcher comments, “Our surprise that teenagers say they get along well with their parents comes because of a brief period in our social history when teenagers were regarded as different beings. But that idea of rebelling and breaking away from their parents really only happened during that one time in the 1960s when everyone rebelled. The normal situation throughout history has been a smooth change from helping out with the family business to taking it over. ”

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火车上的相遇

邓迎雪

       大二的时候,他的生活就像一幅乱七八糟的调色板——逃课、喝酒、玩网游、谈恋爱。很忙,但都与学业无关。

       颓废、不求上进,他自己并不是没有警醒,只是计划容易,执行好难。他还是会隔三岔五地玩个通宵。

       暑假,他原打算在学校补补功课,再打份工,可是朋友又邀他参加同学们的假期游。无奈,他只好再次搁置计划,登上了开往西安的列车。

       正值暑运,车上人满为患,他们只买到两张卧铺票。大家只好轮换去休息,余下的就在硬座车厢里打扑克,玩得不亦乐乎。

       列车在他家乡停靠的时候,看着窗外熟悉的风景,听着浓重的乡音,有那么一刹那,他想起了在家务农的父母。每次打电话,他们都说一切都好,让他放心。他于是也就真的放下心来,不再惦记……想到这里,他有些走神,直到有人催促他发牌,他才又沉浸到游戏中。

       凌晨三点,他带着浓重的困意去卧铺车厢休息,人太多,走道里挤满了困倦不堪的人们,有好多农民工模样的人头枕在编织袋上。昏昏沉沉地进入梦乡。

       在一节车厢的连接处,小小的空间里,人们横七竖八地或坐或躺。他忽然像针扎一样,大声叫起来,只见他的父亲蜷在角落里,背倚着包裹,微仰着脸睡着。

       世界很大,有时却又很小,他竟会在这里和父亲相遇。

       父亲看见他也大吃一惊。父亲说,他是去郑州的建筑队干活,农活忙完了,正好出去转转。望着父亲皱巴巴的汗衫,乱蓬蓬的头发,黝黑苍老的脸,他知道父亲故作轻松的话语,是不想让他担心。

       父亲问他去哪里,他嗫嚅着说出行程。父亲却鼓励他,年轻人就该这样,“读万卷书,行万里路”嘛。想到亮红灯的功课,他不敢看父亲的眼睛。

       他劝说父亲不要再出去做工,父亲说,劳动惯了,闲不下来。父亲从不在他面前诉说生活的苦,他也很少想过父亲的付出。现在,在这个拥挤不堪的列车上,看着年老的他背着行李外出做工,他心里涌起一种难言的酸涩。

       那晚,父亲在他的卧铺位上睡得很香。送父亲下车后,他发现自己的口袋里多了200元钱,两张皱皱巴巴、浸着汗渍的钞票,让他觉着沉重、烫手。

       他忽然就没有了出游的兴致,那场旅行,他的眼前老是晃动着父亲满是皱纹的面容。

       从风景区回来时,他在父亲打工的城市下了车。天闷热得像个大蒸笼,暑气滚滚,空气里冒着干渴的味道。

       在郊外的建筑工地,他见到了正在忙碌的父亲。工地刚施工不久,楼房才建起一层多高。在机器的轰鸣声里,父亲正踩着用木板搭起的脚手架,叮叮当当地捆扎钢筋。看见他,父亲急忙从脚手架上下来,心疼地责备他大热天里来工地做什么。看着父亲湿透的汗衫,被暑热熏得黑红的脸膛,他直觉着嗓子发堵,不知是汗水还是泪水从他脸上滑下,流进嘴里,咸涩的苦。

       正说着话,有工友从身边走过。父亲自豪地介绍:“这是俺上大学的儿子。”那工友又问在学校学的啥。“念的是计算机,开学就大三了。”父亲大声回答,又侧头看看他,一脸欣慰的幸福的笑。

       他心里五味杂陈,想想那两门挂科的功课,无地自容。

       他在工地呆了两天,才知道,那天父亲在火车上把仅有的钱都留给了他,现在的生活费是拿工钱代扣的。天气那么热,每天强体力的劳动,简单、粗糙的饭菜就是父亲全部的生活内容,他苦劝父亲回家,他留下来做工。父亲有些生气:“俺是干庄稼活的,这点累算啥,这哪是你读书人呆的地方,你好好读书,将来有出息,比啥都强。”

       这些年,他变得浮躁无比,忘记了自己的来处。如今,父亲烈日下的汗水,一滴一滴溅在他心里,唤醒了他沉睡的心。

       那个暑假是他最难忘的一个假期,他感觉突然长大、成熟了许多。从此。他一步步踏踏实实地走好自己的路,和从前顽劣的他判若两人。

       多年后,当他和父亲聊天,还常常会提到那年夏天。只是,他没有告诉父亲,如果没有那次火车上的相遇,他不知还要挥霍多久的时光。

                                                                                                                                                                           (选自《青年文摘》2013年第3期)