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    Friends are important to children.Research shows that children who have no friends can suffer from difficulties later in life.Friendship provides children with more than just fun.In making friends,children learn how to get in touch with others and solve problems.Having friends even does good to children for they can help each other during class.

    If the parents are concerned about whether their children make many friends,what matters is that the child is comfortable and happy with his friends.Parents need to understand the steps children take in building friendships.First of all,be a friend to your child.Good friendships start at home.Children begin to develop the necessary ability to go out and meet others through getting along with their parents. Greet the child warmly and let him know you are glad to see him.Children learn a lot from how their parents stay with them and other people.

    Teach children how to solve conflicts(争端).Being able to work out conflicts is an important skill in getting along with others.If parents know the children have a conflict,let them work it out on their own.Only step in if it is really necessary,for example,an argument is getting physical.

    Give children chances to practice staying together.Have children play games that require cooperation. For example,races are fun and provide plenty of practice in teamwork.“In what ways didn't you work well together? What might you do differently next time?” For these ideas,see books such as Games Book by Telly Orlick and Team—Building by Alanna Jones.

    Encourage children to show thanks to others.The parents can encourage children to do this by setting the example for them.

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对自己的人生负责

周国平

       ①人生在世,最重要的事情不是幸福或不幸,而是不论幸福还是不幸,都保持做人的正直和尊严。做人比什么都更重要,不管你在其它方面多么春风得意,如果做人失败了,你的人生就在总体上失败了。我们活在世上,不免要承担各种责任,小至对家庭、亲戚、朋友,对自己的职务,大至对国家和社会。这些责任多半是应该承担的。不过,我们不要忘记,除此之外,我们还有一项根本的责任,便是对自己的人生负责。

       ②每个人在世上都只有活一次的机会,没有任何人能够代替他重新活一次。如果这唯一的一次人生虚度了,也没有任何人能够真正安慰他。认识到这一点,我们对自己的人生怎么能不产生强烈的责任心呢?在某种意义上,人世间各种其他的责任都是可以分担或转让的,惟有对自己的人生的责任,每个人都只能完全由自己来承担,一丝一毫依靠不了别人。

       ③对自己人生的责任心是其余一切责任心的根源。一个入惟有对自己的人生负责,建立了真正属于自己的人生目标和生活信念,他才可能由之出发,自觉地选择和承担起对他人和社会的责任。正如歌德所说:“责任就是对自己要求去做的事情有一种爱。”因为这种爱,所以尽责本身就成了生命意义的一种实现,就能从中获得心灵的满足。相反,我不能想象,一个在人生中随波逐流的人怎么会坚定地负起生活中的责任。实际情况往往是,这样的人把尽责不是看作从外面加给他的负担而勉强承受,便是看作纯粹的付出而索求回报。

       ④一个不知对自己的人生负有什么责任的人,他甚至无法弄清他在世界上的责任是什么。有一位小姐向托尔斯泰请教,为了尽到对人类的责任,她应该做些什么。托尔斯泰听了非常反感,因此想到:人们为之受苦的巨大灾难就在于没有自己的信念,却偏要做出按照某种信念生活的样子。当然,这样的信念只能是空洞的。这是一种情况。更常见的情况是,许多人对责任的关系确实是完全被动的,他们之所以把一些做法视为自己的责任,不是出于自觉的选择,而是由于习惯、时尚、舆论等原因。譬如说,有的人把偶然却又长期从事的某一职业当作了自己的责任,从不尝试去拥有真正适合自己本性的事业。有的人看见别人发财和挥霍,便觉得自己也有责任拼命挣钱花钱。有的人十分看重别人尤其上司对自己的评价,谨小慎微地为这种评价而活着。由于他们不曾认真地想过自己的人生使命究竟是什么,在责任问题上也就必然是盲目的了。

       ⑤我相信,如果一个人能对自己的人生负责,那么,在一切社会关系上,他对自己的行为都会有一种负责的态度。如果一个社会是由这样的人组成的,这个社会就必定是高质量的有效率的社会。