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给季弟书

魏禧

    辛卯月日,客粤二旬。每念吾弟介然不苟,颇以远大相期,圣人所谓“刚毅木讷”,庶几近之;但刚为美德,吾弟却于此成一“疏”字,生一“褊”字,又渐流一“傲”字。

    往时我之督弟甚严,近五六年,见弟立志行,颇成片段。每欲长养吾弟一段勃然挺然之气,不忍过为折抑,又我每有优柔姑息之病,吾弟常能直言正色,匡我不逮,隐吾畏友,凡细故偶失,多为姑容,使弟不生疑忌,矢直无讳。坐此两者,故今之督弟甚宽。然我此等即是姑息,欲归为弟畅言。

    弟与人执事,亦颇竭忠,每乏周详之虑;临事时患难险阻都所不避,而不能为先事之计,以为大节无损。诸细行杂务,不留心无大害,然因此失事误人,因以失己者多有之。此则所谓疏也。疾恶如仇,辄形辞色;亲友有过,谏而不听,遂薄其人;人轻己者,拂然去之;行有纤毫不遂其志,则抑郁愤闷不能终朝。此诚褊衷,不可不化。其庸流也,则以庸流轻之;其人下流也,则以下流绝之;岸然之气,不肯稍为人屈。遂因而不屑一世,凌铄侪辈。长此不惩,矜己傲物,驯致大弊。夫疏则败事,褊则邻于刻薄,傲则绝物而终为物绝:三者皆刚德之害。然皆自刚出之,倘能增美去害,则于古今人中当自造一诣矣。子夏问孝,子曰:“色难”,先儒以为“有深爱者必有和气,有和气者必有愉色,有愉色者必有婉容”。吾弟之事父兄多恭谨,然婉容愉色抑何少也!岂其无乐爱耶?盖无学问以化其刚,岸然之气,欲下之而不能下也。弟行勉之矣!

(选自《魏叔子文集》)

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    Teachers love to put students into teams.____ Why? Because they know the responsible team members will come through for a good grade.

If you are teamed up with a student who is lazy, the worst thing you can do is let it get you down.____ and it might create a positive change in your partner!

    Try these tips for working with a slacker(懒虫).

    Be excited and provide a good example. Your slacker may be a good person who has developed bad work habits. You may be able to teach your partner some valuable skills for a successful future.

    Think rewards!____ For instance, you could promise to make cupcakes for the next work meeting and encourage your partner to bring a good snack.

    Make some time to sit with your partner and establish a set of work rules and deadlines. Don't quarrel, though. Make it clear that you would like to establish rules to keep you both on track.____ Keep a record of your rules, your initial meetings, and your work. When it becomes obvious in the records that you're doing all the work, talk with the slacker.____

A. Don't let the anger and pain defeat you.

B. Come up with a great reward for meeting some goal.

C. Instead, take some steps to encourage your partner to work.

D. Unavoidably one or more members will try to do nothing.

E. Start out by giving your partner a clear task with a deadline.

F. Show him/her the evidence and suggest he or she pick up the pace.

G. Think about the future and the fact that you are going to be rewarded.