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孝乃德之本

谭用友

    《论语》记载:一天,孔子的学生子夏问孔子什么是孝,孔子只讲了两个字——色难。意思是说,给父母好脸色是最基本的孝道,也是最难做到的。

    父母对于儿女的很多不是,都不会往心里去,唯独最难接受的,就是儿女给脸色看。有位老太太,中午去儿子房间找报纸,正碰上儿子回来。儿子刚谈砸了一桩业务,心情不太好,见母亲在他的床上摸索,生硬地说:“妈,你没事在自己房里好好待着,别到处乱串。”母亲解释说:“我只是找张报纸,顺便在你们床上坐一会儿。”儿子的脸色很难看,出门前扔下一句:“吃饱没事干。”没想到当天夜里,这位老母亲选择了轻生。

    儿女给父母好脸色难在哪里?难就难在对父母的一些衰老行为,如多愁善感,行动迟缓,说话絮絮叨叨,做事丢三落四等,要能够始终给予理解、宽容和善待。难就难在对自己的一些不良行为,如任性、娇气、以自我为中心等,要能够不断进行反省、克服和纠正,特别是在外无论遇到什么不顺心、不如意的事,都不能把情绪带到家里来。难就难在给父母好脸色,要能够持之以久。一时一事给父母好脸色不难做到,难的是处处事事都是如此,尤其是当老人久病在床的时候。

    一个人从母亲十月怀胎到呱呱坠地,从咿呀学语到蹒跚学步,从上学、择业到结婚生子,父母究竟付出了多少精力和心血?山东枣庄“捐肾救母”的田世国说:“母亲生我养我,可我做的连她给我的万分之一都没有。”常思养育之恩,孝老爱亲才不会为难。

    除了感恩之心,恭敬之心对于行孝也极为重要。《礼记·祭义》云:“孝子之有深爱者必有和气,有和气者必有愉色,有愉色者必有婉容。”给父母好脸色,关键是要常思养育之恩,常怀恭敬之心,常省自身之过,始终对父母怀有深切的爱心和敬意。有了恭敬心,与父母说话的态度和语气,自会温婉谦和,照顾侍候父母,自会恭谨周到。有了恭敬心,父母的教诲会认真聆听,父母的责备会虚心悦纳。

    国风之本在家风,家风之本在孝道。愿天下儿女,常以发自内心的微笑去慰藉父母的心灵。当我们树起尊老爱老、孝老护老的现代风尚,孝心汇聚成流一定可以滋润出社会的和谐美好。

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    When people find something valuable and return it to its owner,they are often given a reward.This is because the person not only found what was lost but also spent time finding its owner or taking it to the police station.

    There was once a young boy who found a woman's purse in a shopping center.Inside the purse there was some money and the woman's driving license.Her name and address were printed on the license,so the boy knew where she lived.That evening he went to her house and knocked on her door.When she opened it,he said,“I found your purse,''and handed it to her.

    “Thank you very much,”she said.She opened her purse and took out all the money.She wanted to give the boy a small reward,but there were only bills of$20 in the purse and she thought that$20 was too much to give the boy.“I'm sorry,”she said. “but I don't have any small change to give you.”

    The boy said,“That's all right,”and he went away.

    A few days later he found another woman's purse.It also had her driving license in it,so he knew where she lived.He went to her house and said.“l found your purse ,”and handed it to her.

    “Thank you very much,"she said.  She opened her purse and took out all her money.

    “That‘s strange,”she said.“Before I lost my purse l had a $100 bill and a $20 bill in it.Now I have a $100 bill ,a $10 bill and two $5 bills.''

    “Yes,"the boy said,and smiled.