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家宴(节选)

时间:现代。

地点:一个退休工人的家。

人物:老头子、老太太。

(幕启。)

(桌上放着丰盛的菜肴。老头子坐在桌旁拉着京胡,心情不好,因此琴声干巴巴的没有韵味,有些焦躁。)

(老太太端着一个汤碗上来。)

老太太:今儿个是怎么了?都过了十二点了,一个也不回来。(看看窗外)我说老头子,老头子!你怎么一天到晚就知道拉、拉、拉,孩子们到现在还不来,你就不兴去叫叫?(把汤碗放好)

老头子:我说你呀,贱!放着好吃好喝的什么时候不能吃?非等到礼拜天孝敬那两个狼崽子?哼!(又拉京胡)

老太太:别拉了!怎么的啦?狼崽子也是我生我养的,我愿意。孩子们一个礼拜就回来一次,乐乐呵呵地有啥不好?上个礼拜也不知道你吃错了什么药,骂完了老大骂老二,你看把你能的。我买的菜我做的饭,要骂也轮不到你。你看看,骂得孩子们都不敢回来了。

老头子:是我要骂的?要不是你总在我耳边叨叨叨、叨叨叨,怨儿媳妇不帮你烧饭做菜,怨两个狼崽子不帮你收拾收拾,累得你头疼腰疼屁股疼,我能骂他们?说我。

老太太:啊,我说了,我也没叫你骂他们。你要是心疼我就不能帮我做些事?一天到晚拉你那个破胡琴。

老头子:哎,你说对了,我现在就是“拉胡琴的儿子——吱(自)咕(顾)吱(自)”。他们不来更好,咱们吃。来,吃。

老太太:可也是,好不容易把他们拉扯大了,连礼拜天都不回来了,让我白做了这么多菜。

老头子:我说你这个人,就是贱。平时咱们就不能吃好点?非要攒到礼拜天让他们来胡吃海造?跟鬼子进村一样。

老太太:你这个人怎么专会说别人?你就不先检查检查自己?你干嘛平时尽抽烟袋锅,到礼拜天就买一包“红塔山”孝敬那两个狼崽子?哼,说我。

老头子:啊,买“红塔山”怎么了,我就有一到礼拜天就抽“红塔山”的毛病,你管得着吗?

老太太:(拿起放在桌上的“红塔山”)那你抽啊,怎么都过去大半天了,你还没拆包啊?我说你啊,才真是贱!

老头子:你!我说你怎么老爱瞎叨叨,少说两句行不行?他们不来,我们是不能吃还是怎么的?来,吃!你来啊,老往外瞅个啥?

老太太:哎,我说,咱们还是再等一会儿,行不?孩子们念书那时候,咱们家多久也是等人齐了才开饭,这还是你定下的规矩。

老头子:说那些干啥?现在他们不是翅膀都硬了吗?

老太太:唉——你说,他们没长大那会儿,天天盼着他们长大,可一眨眼他们怎么都长大了呢?

老头子:唉,我也觉得快了点。老大上小学那天,天下着雨,我背着他,你在旁边打伞送他上学去,就跟昨天的事一样……

老太太:可不是咋的。那次他考试不及格,吓得不敢回家,把我急得到处找。等我找到他以后,你猜孩子说啥?说怕爸爸打他……你从来就没对孩子好过,不是打就是骂。上个礼拜天,你要是不骂孩子,这会儿一家人早就乐呵呵地坐在一起吃饭了。

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B

    These days, young people in some English-speaking countries are speaking a strange language, especially when communicating on social media.

    Look at these words chosen by The Washington Post: “David Bowie dying is totes tradge,” and “When Cookie hugged Jamal it made me totes emosh.” Or this sentence: “BAE, let me know if you stay in tonight.”

    What on earth do they mean? Well, “totes” is a short form of “totally”. Similarly, “tradge” means “tragic” and “emosh” means “emotional”. It seems that, for millennials(千禧一代), typing in this form is not only time-saving but fashionable.

    As you can see, many millennial slangs(俚语)are formed by so-called “totesing”—the systematic abbreviation(缩写)of words. The trend might have started with “totally” becoming “totes”, but it now has spread to many other English words.

    The origins of other millennial slangs are more complex than “totesing”.“Bae”, for example, has been widely used by African-Americans for years. It can be an expression of closeness with one's romantic partner or, like “sweetheart”, for someone without romantic connection. After pop singer Pharrell used the word in his work, “bae” became mainstream.

    Some people might think millennial slangs lower the value of the English language, but Melbourne University linguist(语言学家)Rosey Billington doesn't agree. She says when people are able to use a language in a creative way, they show that they know the language rules well enough to use words differently. Two other linguists, Lauren Spradlin and Taylor Jones, share the same view. The two analysed hundreds of examples of totes-speak and discovered totesing has complex roots.

    It isn't simply an adult version of baby talk, nor a clever way to minimize your word count. Rather, it is a highly organized system that relies on a speaker's mastery of English pronunciation. It is about sounds, follows sound system of English and has strict rules.